A Series of Goodbyes, Part 2 - The Forgotten Friend

It's been more than two years, but I never got to say goodbye.  Come to think of it, I never even got that dance that I promised her.

Blythe O'Sullivan and I met in college.  She was a little on the crazy side, and I was struggling with finding myself.  Though I had spent my whole life believing in Christ as my Savior, I didn't always live a life that reflected this belief.  By the end of my freshman year of college, I had wandered away from the fold, and in doing so I had lost many who I thought to be my friends.  When I turned away from following God, I felt alone and abandoned by the ones who I thought would always be there for me - the church.  It was in this loneliness that Blythe and I became friends.  She loved me regardless of what I was dealing with.  Our friendship was strong, and getting to know her helped me through some tough times in my life.


Two things needed to be said here.  One, we never dated, nor were there any romantic ties between us.  We simply enjoyed each other's company and spent many, many hours hanging out together.  Two, though her friendship was a great encouragement to me, as she loved me when I felt that nobody else did, this friendship was not necessarily a healthy one.  We partied hard, and we partied often.  She encouraged me to do things I never thought I would do, things that I knew did not honor the God I claimed to serve.  Though I understood that she loved me, I grew increasingly more depressed during this time.  Something was missing.

As my sophomore year of college was wrapping up, I heard the voice of God calling me back into His loving arms.  When I thought that I was too far out of reach, God pulled me close.  I renewed my commitment to Him, and He has brought me to where I am today.  As I recommitted my life to Him, I had to make some very difficult decisions.  One of these decisions was to cut myself off from all those who were drawing me back into the sinful lifestyle that I was recently pulled out of.  This meant that I had to end my friendship with Blythe.  I always hoped this would be a temporary end, and that someday, when I was stronger in my faith and more secure in myself, we could rebuild this friendship... that maybe she would come to know that Savior that I love so dearly.

Four years passed.  I had gotten married, and Tiffany and I were living in Dallas.  I had neither seen nor heard from Blythe during this time.  It was only at a wedding in Peoria that we were able to briefly reconnect.  We hugged for what seemed like forever, talking about where we were and what we were doing.  She was serving with the Peace Corps in Suriname, South America.  She had come back specifically for the wedding, and she was preparing to leave again after the weekend.  She asked if I would dance with her when the music started later.  I said I would.

Then, my ride decided it was time to leave.

We never got that dance.

Blythe died a few months later.  She was working on the farm in Suriname when she triggered a gun trap that shot her through the leg.  She severed her femoral artery and bled out.  It was early December, 2007, and I still wonder why I didn't insist on staying to get that dance.  I pray that somebody was able to share the Gospel with her before she died, as I failed in this opportunity.  And it still hurts, because I never even got to say goodbye.

So goodbye, Blythe.  You meant more to me than I ever let you know, and I am sorry for the way I let you down.  I'm sorry for never telling you about what Christ did for me, and for what He did for you.  I'm sorry for hurting you and for never talking to you for all those years.  I'm sorry for leaving without dancing with you.  And I'm sorry for never getting to say goodbye.