So part of the process of applying for full-time missions with SIM is filling out a doctrinal assessment (I'll get to that in a minute) and a training evaluation. You fill in boxes on all the different Bible and missions courses you have taken, along with related transcripts - a resume of sorts.
Don't get me wrong, I've got this resume thing down... shifting from Journalism to PR to Marketing Communications to Internet Marketing and now to a combination of basically all of the above, I've got my bases covered. So that will get me a job in marketing, but what about in missions?
Granted, Bible studies galore, serving in our church in so many ways that we've basically given up on the concept of weekends, Sunday school lessons, and weekly sermons have all taught me so much about God's word and pushed me to try to be more like Jesus, but I couldn't fill in a single box on the sheet for 'formalized training.' Isn't experience what matters? That's what I have on my resume - I'm past the 'relevant coursework' and rely on 'work experience' instead. But it leaves me to ponder... am I equipped? We've spent the past two years and lots of money putting Luke through seminary and I'm convinced he knows the Bible front to back. Me? I thought I had a pretty good understanding, and that the 'experience' thing would be great, but there was also a doctrinal assessment.
Doctrinal assessment just sounds intimidating. It would have been better had they called it: "What you believe." We filled out the basic version on our initial application, but this was a little longer, a little more insightful, and they limited you to four sentences per answer. Being a writer, I'm really good at really long answers that sound good but may not exactly hit the target of the question. Now I have to answer deep theological questions and am limited to a few lines of text. Oy. All I have to say is that if they deem us unfit for missions or decide I spoke pure heresy, I apologize to Luke and all those who were excited to support us and pray for us as we set off. Okay, it wasn't that bad, and the questions asking me to apply my faith to a variety of cultural questions were actually kind of fun to answer after I stewed on them and avoided them until the last possible minute. Plus, it was good to really think about what I believe, and not just what I've been fed to believe. It's just that the whole process is intimidating - that at each step someone is going to tell me we can't go because I'm unfit for missions because this isn't just writing a good story and hoping it affects someone. This is telling THE GOOD STORY and praying that someone will make a choice between eternal life or eternal punishment.
I guess where I'm going with this is that with all the "successes" I've had in things of this world and all the praise I've received for various gifts and strengths, this is one area where, *shock,* my sufficiency comes only from the Lord. That's kind of freeing - seeing as I definitely don't feel sufficient. This is one test I can't ace by any effort of my own. I can't rely on charm, intelligence, or my resume. Our work in missions will not be our work, but the Spirit of the Lord working through us to bring Him the glory. Praise God!
Because I definitely couldn't do it without him...
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