21 May 2012

When there’s nothing you can do


Helpless.  So many times in the last year and a half I have just felt helpless. 

Today I went to Kimasala with one purpose – to encourage Jillian.  Jillian’s grandmother brought her to Lusa Home-Based Care about a year ago to see if Mama Yoba would be willing to allow she and her three precious children to stay in one of the small houses on the property.  Jillian had recently been hospitalized – the HIV had so crippled her immune system that she nearly died of sickness.  While in the hospital, her husband walked away, and married another woman.  Staying at Lusa would mean Jillian would be closer to the hospital, providing better access to ARVs and proper medical care. 

A few months into her time at Lusa, Jillian gave birth to her fourth child, Moses.  So afraid she would be kicked out (abandoned once more), Jillian didn’t tell Mama Yoba (a certified birthing assistant and champion against the spread of HIV) she was pregnant.  Mama Yoba only learned of it when she was called on in the middle of the night to deliver the baby.  Praise the Lord that Moses is a growing, (seemingly) healthy boy. 

In addition to watching Moses and his siblings grow over the last year, I have had the joy to get to know Jillian – to see her body grow stronger, to be humbled by her hard work and servant’s heart, and to see her spirit grow in maturity in Christ.  While she has been afraid of being “chased” from Lusa, we all see her as a vital part of the ministry there.  Though her mother pulled her from school in grade nine so that she could get married, she is incredibly intelligent.  Though she has been raising four children tirelessly, she also helps to cook for, teach and love the many children we serve at Lusa.  She has built friendships and become “part of the family” in so many ways.

Jillian helping make jewelry to sell

So I was quite surprised at our ladies Bible study on Thursday to find her distracted, tired, and generally just “off.”  The children were dirtier than usual and the light was gone from Jillian’s face.  Midway through our study, a woman came around and was yelling at Jillian and she got up and went to speak to the lady.  

Afterward, Regina told me the story. Apparently the woman was her mother, who had been coming by the center for several days.  At first she went only to Mama Yoba, telling her it was time for her daughter to return to their village.  Mama Yoba did not want Jillian to feel she was not welcome anymore, so she told the woman that she needed to talk to Jillian herself.  From what I understand, people from her village had told Jillian’s (ex) husband that she had survived the near-death hospital stay, had another child (his), and was happy and thriving at Lusa.  They told him what a hard worker she is and how he would be better off with her than with the “replacement” wife.  So he went to the mother to convince her to bring Jillian back.  Both her husband and her mother had been coming by Lusa over the course of a week or so and trying to convince Jillian to go.  Jillian was feeling obligated (and I have little doubt the man was forcing himself on her when he would come around), but yet knew she would be leaving the love, safety, provision, and family that had surrounded her at Lusa.  So yes, she was distracted, torn about what to do and unsure the way forward.

Big mess.  I had a heavy heart leaving Regina’s home that afternoon.  We talked about ways to encourage Jillian – to let her know what she means to us and to speak truth into her heart of her worth as a Child of God.  We talked of having her on a regular teaching schedule with the kids, and really trying to spend time with her so she’s not trapped by the burden she’s carrying.  Later at home, Luke and I talked about having her come stay at our house for a bit so her husband couldn’t find her.  We thought of going to the mother to try to “talk sense into her.” But culturally, things are so different, and we really didn’t know what to do.

Knowing Regina and Mama Yoba would be out over the weekend through today, I went to Lusa to see Jillian, stopping to buy some bread rolls and bananas on the way for her family.  When I arrived, I arrived to an empty room.  She had gone back.  My heart sank.  And I walked home – helpless.

Helpless.  Like when little Chris ran away from Lusa and we couldn’t just call up Missing Persons and send out people to find him. Like when the dog and cat have been so sick and we couldn’t rush them to a veterinary hospital.  Like when Luke was stuck on an airplane for 30 hours trying to get home to see his grandfather one last time.  Like when the truck came flying out of the grass toward our vehicle and there was nothing we could do...

Except turn to Jesus.  In those moments of helplessness - complete vulnerability; those times when you’ve exhausted every possible answer and resource; when the problems seem too big…He is there.  Cry out to Abba Father and pray.  As an older missionary recently said to me, “some problems are best solved on your knees.”  The way I see it, some problems are only solved on your knees.  In our weakness, He makes us strong.  In our helplessness, He is the Helper.  When we have nothing left to give or are absolutely unable to move forward, He will carry us.  When we step out of the way, He solves the problems in ways that supersede anything we can do in our own strength.

It’s at those times that I’m reminded that as sinners, there is nothing we ourselves can do to make things right with God.  We may exhaust every option – good deeds, sacrifices, turning to false gods and idols – but we are helpless.  Until we turn to Jesus.  Cry out to Jesus, whose death on the cross was the only option that could rescue us from our brokenness – to restore humanity to eternal life with the Father. 

So tonight I’m praying for Jillian, knowing she’s in God’s hands and He can protect her much better than I can.  I’m also praying for you.  That you’ll allow Jesus to heal your broken heart, to rescue you from helplessness, from brokenness. 

Because sometimes, that's the only thing we can do. 

09 May 2012

Getting the Ball Rolling


From the moment I returned from the States in mid-February, I have been running.  And I just realized that it’s May, and I haven’t touched the blog since I got back.  Woops.

So what has kept me so busy?  I’m glad you asked.

You have probably been following our recent adventures, including a trip to Ethiopia, then another one to Thailand.  But these trips weren’t just for vacation; they were for training (sort of).  God has opened the door for us to bring Sports Friends to Zambia, and so, before we started, we had to learn about the program.  So we went, and we learned.

And now we are doing it.

The day I returned to Solwezi I received a call from a local pastor asking if I would be available the following morning for a visit.  Somewhat reluctantly (I was really tired), I agreed to meet with him.  When he came in the morning, we talked about how his church could help us start this ministry by forming our first model team.  We asked him to identify a male and a female sports leader who we could then train to coach but also, and more importantly, to minister.  He told us he knew just the people, and he set up a time for us to meet them that coming Sunday.

So we went to this meeting, and there we met Larry.  He’s 18.  He loves sports.  And he is passionate about Christ.  We asked him to pray about whether or not God would have him lead this ministry at his church, and then set up a follow-up meeting for Thursday of that week.  If God wanted him to be a part of it, he would come; if God had other plans, then he wouldn’t come.  Simple as that.

Thursday arrived, and Larry came.

That was March 1st.  The next day I went with the pastor to the local school and got permission to use their football (soccer) pitch (field) a few times a week.  Meanwhile, Larry identified six boys age 11-12 from the church, and then asked them to each bring a friend.  Then, on Tuesday afternoon, we held our first official practice.  It was chaotic.  There were 100+ schoolchildren wanting to join in during their break.  I realized how bad my Kiikaonde really is.  But it was fun, and now, two months later, we are beginning to see some fruit.

For about an hour and a half every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, Larry has this group of 12 pre-teen boys at the pitch.  They play football.  They joke around.  Larry teaches them about sharing, or teamwork, or respect, or perseverance, or whatever else might come up.  He is building relationships with each of the boys, and they are learning to trust him and look at him as a positive role model.

But it isn’t just a ministry to the kids.  Part of our ministry involves developing leaders.  Once a week, usually before we have practice with the boys, Larry and I sit down and do a Bible study, discuss plans for developing the team, and pray for the boys.  It is an opportunity for me to pour into Larry, to encourage him, and to equip him for ministry, as he is the one really on the front lines working with the kids.

And that brings us to May, and the next steps for Sports Friends Zambia.  Over the coming weeks, we plan to meet with several more churches in the Kimasala area.  Our prayer is that we can help start 4-5 more teams like the first one, providing ministry to around 60 more boys, plus ministry training for a handful more coaches.  There are days when I am completely overwhelmed to think about what lies ahead, but I know that the God we serve is much greater than any obstacle that can stand in our way.