You want to hear something crazy? Being a wife and mom is
hard work. Before you get alarmed, I’m not saying I don’t love my husband and
child. No, my love for them is the very reason the job is so hard. Because
sometimes loving them just doesn’t seem like enough.
You see, the last month has been a struggle. Me, I feel like
I’m doing great – but I also feel like I’m the one holding all the pieces
together. Some of it is the normal stuff I’m sure every mom goes through: when
baby is teething and fighting sleep and no matter how much rocking, how many
songs, and how much well-intentioned advice I try to apply, nothing makes him feel
better. I want to be able to fix it all and make my sweet baby boy happy and
healthy and sometimes all I can do is love him, pray for him, and let him know
that I will be with him through the discomfort and yucky days.
How do I do the same for my husband? I’m trying my
hardest to meet Michael’s needs and sometimes missing the fact that Luke desperately
needs my attention, care, and love as well. Don’t get me wrong –Luke is healthy
and fully capable of feeding and washing himself and definitely doesn’t fight
sleep. But as we settle back into life and ministry here and my extroverted
husband feels virtually friendless and exhausted before he even starts, he
needs my tender care and support.
At my ladies Bible study this week a friend challenged us to
pray about our ambitions. What are our ambitions for this next year? What has
God placed on our hearts to do for Him this year? Well, normally I jump on those
big hairy audacious tasks about taking His Word to the nations and helping His
Name be known (as any good missionary would do), but man, when I started
praying, God made it so clear to me:
"Love your husband. Forget the big tasks –
I’ll give those to Luke. You need to be there to love him, support him, pray
for him and give him a place of safety and respite at the end of the day. Your
job right now is to be his helpmate."
“But for Adam, no
suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep
sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up
the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken
out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” – Genesis 2:20b-22
For many women, this may seem so
easy. But if you know me, you know I’m a doer. I want to be on the front lines
for the Kingdom. So to be given the task of essentially doing less is quite ambitious for me. Pray for your husband. Be
there for him. Aside from your tasks in the home, don’t do anything – be there.
So when you ask me what my ministry is here, my answer may
surprise you. Yes, I will still be involved in the ladies Bible study and I’m
sure I will dabble in bits of this and that at times, but my number one role right
now is wife and mom. The Lord has put it on my heart that our ministry
(collectively, as a family), will be far more fruitful if I stand behind my
husband than if I take off running alongside or ahead thinking that by doing so
we will accomplish more.
And man is this a challenge
for me. I want to do do do! And I find myself quick to push Luke to do do do
more to make up for my lack of doing. I was the runner and he was the
cheerleader – and if you know me you know I laugh when people ask if I was also
a cheerleader. I don’t cheer from the sidelines. I want to be cheered by millions of adoring fans as I list off all of my accomplishments from the day/week/year.
But again I hear that still small voice calling on me to
just love him, pray for him, care for him, and let him know I’m his biggest
cheerleader and fan. After all, it’s not for my glory. It’s not for Luke’s
glory either. Our roles here – our lives – are 100 percent for the Glory of
God. And according to the Father Himself, my life of washing diapers and
nursing Michael and cooking meals and buying groceries and praying for my husband and child can bring Him glory as well, and is more than enough.
“Her husband has full
confidence in her
and lacks nothing of
value.
She brings him good,
not harm,
all the days of her
life…
She gets up while it
is still dark;
she provides food for
her family
and portions for her
servant girls….
Her husband is
respected at the city gate,
where he takes his
seat among the elders of the land….
She speaks with
wisdom,
And faithful
instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the
affairs of her household
and does not eat the
bread of idleness.
Her children arise and
call her blessed;
Her husband also, and
he praises her.”
-excerpts from Proverbs
31
May my husband have full confidence in me as I care for our
family. I know I will have to do
some serious growing as I battle issues of selfishness and self-worth, but as
we wrote in our most recent prayer letter, our worth is in Him. If His will for
me right now is to rock my teething child to sleep, plan dinner and pray, pray
and pray some more, then who am I to question if that is enough? He has
provided, and He will do the rest.
What is His ambition for you this year?
