Gorillas, Social Media, and Personal Responsibility

I’ll be the first to admit that I would much rather find someone to blame than take personal responsibility. Maybe I’m part of the “entitled” generation, maybe I grew up around too many lawyers, or maybe it’s facebook, but even in there, I tried to place the blame for my attitude on anything but myself and my character.

The interwebs blew up yesterday with the news of the endangered gorilla who had to be shot to protect the safety of a small boy who made his way into the enclosure. And I was sad. A lot of people are sad. But a lot of people (who were in no way involved) are also downright angry. I got lost in a couple comment feeds…

“Blame the mother!”

“make the parents pay!”

“it’s the zoo’s fault”

“negligence on all parts”

“Why didn’t they _____?!”

And then I was more sad. Sad because we aren’t capable of just being sad in a set of crummy circumstances. We have to point fingers. We have to place blame. We have to find justice (and of course, our idea of justice is obviously ideal and fair).

I get it. When we realized we have major water damage in the flooring of one of our rooms, I immediately tried to place blame. I wanted it to be someone’s fault. I wanted someone else to have to pay. It’s only fair. I shouldn’t be responsible to fix my own home. The inspector should pay. The previous owners should have known.

Spill your hot coffee? Sue the restaurant. Trip and fall? Whose sidewalk was it? Lost your job? Clearly, your boss was out to get you (been there too).

I pondered this today, though, on this day we celebrate and remember all those who have given their lives for our freedom. These men and women fought for something greater than themselves, and outside their realm of personal responsibility. Imagine if they had just sat back and whined about all the injustices, or even sat on the front lines tweeting their “how could yous?!”.

Imagine if police officers ignored offenses, or even just pointed fingers at perpetrators, instead of actually serving justice.

We can sit around when our house is on fire and question who is to blame, but there are firefighters who are going to fight to put the fire out and make sure we’re safe.

The American soldier isn’t sitting back and questioning and placing blame and telling someone else to do something about it. They’re standing on the front lines, willing to die to defend our freedoms – freedom to speak up, freedom to vote, freedom to whine on social media (though I somehow doubt that was why so many of our ancestors stood so proudly for our country).

There are definitely injustices in this world. There are sad things with no one in particular to blame (though we feel better when we can point fingers). And sometimes there is even someone to blame. But sometimes we’re the ones to blame. I know I am. 

Imagine, perhaps, a world where everyone took personal responsibility. We own up to our own faults and build our own character. Once we’ve worked on that, perhaps we step up for something beyond ourselves. We take ourselves out of the center of the universe, and start loving, serving, giving of ourselves for someone else’s good.

Perhaps then, we might truly appreciate and honor the American soldier.

Even more, we might understand and worship Jesus. Let’s face it, often times we are the ones to blame. We’re the ones who told the lie, shared the gossip, acted impurely, judged someone unfairly, and worshipped ourselves and our self-proclaimed, self-righteousness over the One True God.

Jesus lived a perfect life. He never sinned. He could have easily sat in a little bubble of self-righteous indignation at the world around him. But instead, he had compassion. He was saddened by our helplessness and sin, and he did something about the injustices he saw. He did something on our behalf. Not because we deserved it – no, we deserved death and eternal separation from God. He did it to give us freedom. He paid our penalty by dying on the cross, so that we might be viewed as righteous, and have freedom from the bondage of sin and death.

What does this have to do with a gorilla? Not a lot, other than perhaps a call to just allow the sadness to be just that. We live in a fallen world where sad things happen. Injust and awful things sometimes. Stop pointing fingers and realize that sometimes people are doing the best they can. And sometimes they’re not. And without Jesus, even our best will always fall short.

So celebrate those who serve for the greater good. Thank those who put your life and your needs ahead of their own. When there are real injustices, fight against them in actions, rather than just worlds on a screen. Look at the needs around you and consider serving or helping instead of just crying injustice at the unfortunate circumstances.

Thank a soldier.

Thank Jesus. For only his death could bring us the ultimate freedom. Then tell someone about Him - that's the greatest good you can do for someone.

And stay off of those comment feeds. They’ll suck the joy right out of you.

For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” 31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. – Hebrews 10:30

My Great Ambition

You want to hear something crazy? Being a wife and mom is hard work. Before you get alarmed, I’m not saying I don’t love my husband and child. No, my love for them is the very reason the job is so hard. Because sometimes loving them just doesn’t seem like enough.

You see, the last month has been a struggle. Me, I feel like I’m doing great – but I also feel like I’m the one holding all the pieces together. Some of it is the normal stuff I’m sure every mom goes through: when baby is teething and fighting sleep and no matter how much rocking, how many songs, and how much well-intentioned advice I try to apply, nothing makes him feel better. I want to be able to fix it all and make my sweet baby boy happy and healthy and sometimes all I can do is love him, pray for him, and let him know that I will be with him through the discomfort and yucky days.

How do I do the same for my husband? I’m trying my hardest to meet Michael’s needs and sometimes missing the fact that Luke desperately needs my attention, care, and love as well. Don’t get me wrong –Luke is healthy and fully capable of feeding and washing himself and definitely doesn’t fight sleep. But as we settle back into life and ministry here and my extroverted husband feels virtually friendless and exhausted before he even starts, he needs my tender care and support.

At my ladies Bible study this week a friend challenged us to pray about our ambitions. What are our ambitions for this next year? What has God placed on our hearts to do for Him this year? Well, normally I jump on those big hairy audacious tasks about taking His Word to the nations and helping His Name be known (as any good missionary would do), but man, when I started praying, God made it so clear to me: 

"Love your husband. Forget the big tasks – I’ll give those to Luke. You need to be there to love him, support him, pray for him and give him a place of safety and respite at the end of the day. Your job right now is to be his helpmate."

“But for Adam, no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” – Genesis 2:20b-22

 For many women, this may seem so easy. But if you know me, you know I’m a doer. I want to be on the front lines for the Kingdom. So to be given the task of essentially doing less is quite ambitious for me. Pray for your husband. Be there for him. Aside from your tasks in the home, don’t do anything – be there.

So when you ask me what my ministry is here, my answer may surprise you. Yes, I will still be involved in the ladies Bible study and I’m sure I will dabble in bits of this and that at times, but my number one role right now is wife and mom. The Lord has put it on my heart that our ministry (collectively, as a family), will be far more fruitful if I stand behind my husband than if I take off running alongside or ahead thinking that by doing so we will accomplish more.

And man is this a challenge for me. I want to do do do! And I find myself quick to push Luke to do do do more to make up for my lack of doing. I was the runner and he was the cheerleader – and if you know me you know I laugh when people ask if I was also a cheerleader. I don’t cheer from the sidelines. I want to be cheered by millions of adoring fans as I list off all of my accomplishments from the day/week/year.

But again I hear that still small voice calling on me to just love him, pray for him, care for him, and let him know I’m his biggest cheerleader and fan. After all, it’s not for my glory. It’s not for Luke’s glory either. Our roles here – our lives – are 100 percent for the Glory of God. And according to the Father Himself, my life of washing diapers and nursing Michael and cooking meals and buying groceries and praying for my husband and child can bring Him glory as well, and is more than enough.

“Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life…

She gets up while it is still dark;

she provides food for her family

and portions for her servant girls….

Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the land….

She speaks with wisdom,

And faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her.”

-excerpts from Proverbs 31

May my husband have full confidence in me as I care for our family.  I know I will have to do some serious growing as I battle issues of selfishness and self-worth, but as we wrote in our most recent prayer letter, our worth is in Him. If His will for me right now is to rock my teething child to sleep, plan dinner and pray, pray and pray some more, then who am I to question if that is enough? He has provided, and He will do the rest.

What is His ambition for you this year?

Gratitude

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: 'They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.' Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God." - 2 Corinthians 9:8-11

 

Wow. We have so many reasons to give thanks. So many people for whom to give thanks. So many blessings...

 

In the eight weeks since we've been stateside we've been in nine different states (some of them multiple times), stayed in nine different homes, driven four different cars and ridden in many others, and had a million reasons to say "thank you."

 

So that's just what we want to do. We want to say "thank you" to all of you who have welcomed us back with open arms. Thank you to those who have opened your homes as we've traveled around from place to place. Thank you for offering us rides to and from events. Thank you to those of you who offered your vehicles for our use while we're here. Thank you for the meals you've served us and the tabs you've picked up. Thank you for inviting us to your churches, small groups, and family gatherings. And thank you for listening, asking questions, and caring.

 

And that's just been the last eight weeks! We can't even begin to thank those of you who have stood with us throughout this journey thus far. Some of you have supported us from the very beginning. Thank you. Thank you if you joined in at any point along the way. Thank you to those who faithfully prayed for us throughout the ups and downs of our first term in Zambia. Thank you for your letters, emails, packages, phone calls, and facebook messages. Thank you. Thank you for being open to the Spirit's guidance to give generously, joyfully and abundantly.

 

As we look at the rest of our home assignment and our return to Zambia next spring, we have and will have many more reasons to give thanks. And as much as we thank each of you for responding to God's leading in your lives, your generosity has resulted in thanksgiving to God. We praise and thank God for each of you. We thank Him for your friendship and for blessing you to be a blessing to others. We thank Him for listening to your prayers to Him on our behalf. Specifically, we thank Him for answering our prayers (and many of your prayers as well) that we would be able to conceive. God is so good!

We thank God for His provision, His comfort and His protection. We thank Him most of all for His grace. Without the death and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ, we would have no reason to serve, to give, to love - and no reason to give thanks. Thank you Lord that we do.

 

And thank you.

Because He Lives

Every once in a while something pops up that makes us think, “what if?”  A note from a former employer or co-worker, a discussion about some past achievement, the Olympics (I’ll elaborate on that one), or a general feeling that we’re not accomplishing anything here…

What if we had taken a different path? What if we were still in that job?  What if we had continued in certain sports?What if, what if, what if.  Sometimes, it carries a twinge of jealousy or remorse. “I could have been…” or “remember when?...”

It’s like a conversation Luke and I had several years ago during the Olympics when Luke asked me, “Do you ever think that if you had trained a little harder, you could have made it to the Olympics?” – not just in reference to my running, but also to his gymnastics and diving talents.  A sort of, looking back, wondering if we took the right turn in the road.

Yesterday I wandered onto LinkedIn, a networking site I used quite a bit in my “corporate life,” seeking out partnerships and job opportunities, posting open positions, and building expertise in areas of marketing and communications.  I had several “recommended jobs” pop up and jokingly asked Luke if I should apply for a specific job that came up. 

I think it was more to prove I’m capable of such a position than an actual desire to do it. To "live up to my potential." The power, the glory, the accolades….

And then I remember the cross.  And His power. His glory.  I think about Hebrews 9:14 where it says, “How much more, then, will the blood of Christ… cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, SO THAT we may serve the living God!”

We serve a living God!A living God who sent His Son to die and on the third day rise from the dead so that we may approach the throne of grace through the righteous perfection of Christ and worship Him and serve Him!

‘"Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him.’ – Matthew 4:19-20

I keep trying to pick my nets back up.  Sometimes I think that would be easier.  Or at least a bit more predictable.

And then I think, many of the disciples were trained as fishermen for a reason – maybe to help them become “fishers of men?” So I get all Eric Liddell about running and think that maybe God wants to use that. He does and He has. Not through some Olympic medal, but it was because of running that I went to Bradley, where I first heard God’s call on my life to missions and met Luke.  And through training and persevering and having great coaches and some not-so-great coaches, Luke and I both have a greater understanding and perspective as we equip young men and women here to use sports to share Christ and make disciples.

In the job sphere, perhaps using my writing and marketing to tell people about God’s awesome glory and help share what He’s doing for His kingdom in Zambia is why He gave me that net in the first place. It may not carry the huge paycheck here on earth, but Christ already reserved a treasure for me in Heaven. 

Our call to serve God here is still very clear, and there’s a certain peace (in the midst of turmoil) that comes with being in His will and using our gifts to serve Him.  Yet, we are still so very human and often still think we need affirmation and accolades.  And while waiting to one day hear God say, “well done, my good and faithful servant”  (Matthew 25:21, 23), I believe He sometimes gives us affirmation through creative channels, like this message I found from a former co-worker while browsing LinkedIn yesterday:

“Hey Tiffany – I was driving this morning when my partner called to tell me about a marketing manager role in Dallas. I started telling her about you and said that I would look you up.  Then I saw your profile – WOW! Stand up and applaud! I have said for years that I wanted to have “time” to volunteer and serve.  Something that there never seems to be enough of…. Time. I think that what you are doing is so awesome….. Just wanted to tell you how impressed I am with your courage.  Good luck – sending prayers.”

I’m not posting this so you congratulate us on our work as missionaries.  Often we feel like we can’t possibly be making a difference. Sometimes we yearn for a “normal” life.

Then we think about verses like Luke 9:62 (‘Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.’”) and feel ashamed for even writing about our “what ifs.” But we remember the cross.  We look toward our glorious and living Savior. And worship Him in all His glory and splendor (and none of ours). We serve Him with a clear conscience.  And it’s all worth it.

Because He lives. 

If I do not love...

In my last post, I talked about how focusing on Jesus and the righteousness imputed to us through His death on the cross can free us from the chains of guilt. If we turn our eyes from those things that are tempting us and toward Him, those things become dull and drab in the midst of His splendor.

In a practical sense, though, what does it mean to fix our eyes on Jesus? How can we seek to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:16)?

Before I started singing the hymn Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus (see prior post), I had Ginny Owens’ I am Nothing in my head (we’re talking all morning…). Here are a few of the lyrics…

I could live a flawless life,
Never cheat or steal or lie,
And always speak so kindly, smile warmly, and go about doing good.
I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to-
Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should.
I could show up every Sunday, lead the choir and Bible study
And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend.
Oh, I could achieve success on earth, but success cannot define my worth
And all these actions, all these words, will not matter in the end-

Songs will fade to silence,
Stories, they will cease.
The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds.
So as I strive to serve you,
Won’t you make it clear to me,
If I do not love, I am nothing.

So thinking about focusing on Christ and His love and being holy as He is holy, I thought, what is it Christ has called us to do? He tells us of the two greatest commandments, to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself. I really think there are three great commandments here, the third being assumed. In order for us to love our neighbor as ourselves, we have to love ourselves. Radical thought, huh? Well seriously… you can ask my husband. I am the queen of being down on myself. I had my own little guilty shame-filled pity party last night for wasting away my day and making choices that certainly weren’t about to earn me any favor in God’s eyes. I beat myself up over small things and in essence not only make it all about me, but also all about not loving me. If I’m wrapped up in not loving myself, there certainly isn’t room for focusing on loving the Lord my God, much less loving my neighbor. (My neighbor wouldn’t want to be around me.)

Thinking a little further, if I’m to be focused on Jesus, how can I learn from Him how to love myself? Well to start, Jesus lived a very balanced, healthy lifestyle. When he was tired, He got away from the crowds and rested; when He needed spiritual refreshment or guidance, He turned to God in prayer; when He was tempted, He called upon God; when He was hungry or thirsty He ate; when He needed to focus on His purpose or His relationship with God, He put those things first. Though He ministered to both Jew and Gentile, His deep relationships were with dear God-fearing friends and together they took time for fellowship and relaxation. He focused His gaze upon things not of this earth, but things of Heaven. There was no room for falling to temptation – probably even no appeal. He was so focused on God’s splendor and love and purpose, all other things didn’t even matter. Loving Himself didn’t mean boasting about menial earthly things – His only boasting was that He was the Son of the Living God – and we too can boast about that! Loving Himself didn’t mean regular extravagant beauty treatments (though he certainly allowed it when it was the sacrificial love of the woman with the oil). Loving Himself meant loving who He was in God and taking care of His body as a vessel for God’s purposes. And loving Himself meant accepting God’s purposes for Him.

To love my neighbor as myself, sometimes I think I just need to get over myself. God created me; therefore, what I might see as flaws He sees as perfection. God sent His Son to save me; therefore, what I might see as sin, He sees as righteousness. If I love Him, I can focus on His love, learn to love myself, and then know how to truly love my neighbor. That’s way more refreshing (and joy-producing) than shameful self-loathing!

Here is the end of the song:

If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the one who lived his life for me?

Sent to earth from heaven,
Humble servant, holy king,
Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul,
You knew that I’d deny you, crucify you, but nothing could stop you from
Living for me, dying for me, so that I would know-

Songs will fade to silence,
Stories will cease,
The dust will settle covering these selfless deeds.
But your life here has made it clear enough for me to see
That if I do not love, I am nothing

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in his wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of his glory and grace.

This morning we had the privilege of hosting the Kansanshi Fellowship in our home. This is a group of expatriate miners and a few others from around the world who started a small church group here in Solwezi because they didn’t feel comfortable or worship in the local Zambian churches as they were used to doing in their home countries. Actually, as August is a school holiday and many of the miners are on vacations or visiting family in South Africa or elsewhere, we’re hosting several weeks in a row.

Anyhow, the topic Luke led us through today was sin as a habit/lifestyle versus sin as an isolated event, looking at how everyone is a sinner from conception – from the disobedience of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and from which the separation of mankind from God resulted, we are in our nature sinners. Through the blood of Christ on the cross, who was born of woman but conceived by the Holy Spirit, believers in Him are reconciled to God and freed from the power of sin. God views us as righteous, despite incidents of sin that occur after we put our trust in Him. While we are viewed as righteous, we still have to account for our sinful choices. Just as children whose parents will love them and forgive them when they do wrong but are proud of them when they do well, we know our Heavenly Father forgives and loves us when we slip, but we seek to do right for the honor it brings Him.

All that to say, that’s not what this post is about, really.... As we discussed the fact that we all still fall to temptation and make mistakes, one of the men said that sometimes he thinks we’re too focused on the sin and not on our righteousness. Before you say, “wow, he’s full of himself” or “missed the point of Christ on the cross,” think about it. He has a very, very good point. We’ve been freed from sin and its power – so why dwell on it? If we dwell on our sin, we tend to live in shame, guilt, and often a terrible cycle of: sinful action – guilt – distancing ourselves from God (how could He love us when we disappoint Him so?) – and sinful action again. It’s like when someone is on a diet and spends the whole time thinking, “I can’t eat candy bars.” If you’re constantly thinking about how you can’t do it, you’re constantly thinking about it.

If instead, we place in our minds something completely different rather than focusing on what we shouldn’t do, there’s no room for those temptations to even creep in. Our friend wasn’t saying we are righteous in that we don’t need a savior, but if we view ourselves in the righteousness we have because of Christ, it is easier to get out of the cycle of shame and focus on Him and His holiness as a guide for our own lives.

So thinking about all of that and how I should fix my eyes on Christ, the above hymn popped into my mind. If our eyes are on Jesus – in His glory and grace and splendor – the temptations of the world seem so frivolous and dull. If we focus on the temptations, and falling to the temptations, we completely miss the goodness and love of Christ. I mean seriously, what right have we to sit ashamed, guilty, and unworthy of God’s pleasure, when Jesus gave His life on the cross and deemed us worthy?

Stay tuned for a follow up to this message.... soon. Didn’t want this one to get too long....

to give a man a fish

How many times have we heard the proverb, “if you give a man a fish, he eats for a day; if you teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.”? Not sure where it came from, but it’s always seemed a pretty good principle to me. It screams empowerment and equality – good western ideologies. And with ministry in Africa, trying to empower people to be self-sustaining in their work and not depend on financial pipelines from overseas, it just makes sense, right?

That’s where I’m having a hard time. The above proverb is certainly not from the Bible. Jesus never tells the disciples to go teach people how to catch fish or harvest their fields or bake bread – he tells them to teach, but to teach about Him. Jesus himself doesn’t teach tricks of the trade, sustainable agriculture or the like. He feeds the multitudes and tells us to do the same. He says we should sell our possessions and give to the poor. In 2 Corinthians 8:13-15, Paul writes,

‘Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: “He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little.”’

Whether it’s on the street or at our door, we have people asking for food and money on an almost daily basis. At Lusa, there is a dire need for money to get the center running to its full potential. Kids need sponsorships to go to school. We’re by no means rich, but the Lord has blessed us with plenty. How does He want us to use it? We’re trying to teach money management and develop income-generating projects at Lusa – and let me tell you – it’s exhausting. We often offer piecework to people who come to the door. Sometimes we give a loaf of bread or money to buy mealie-meal. But we also find ourselves saying “no” a lot. We really struggle with what we should do – where we should give.

The country of Zambia has benefitted from a pipeline of charitable funding for so many years that it seems to have crippled much of the country. People have gotten so used to having the fish given to them that they’ve stopped casting their nets themselves. Many parents don’t seem to even try to pay their kids' school fees – they’ve learned instead how to ask for sponsorships. This is by no means everyone. There are people who work hard, tirelessly, to provide for their families and manage money wisely. But (please excuse any bitterness here) there are also a lot of people who wander the streets waiting for someone with white skin to give them money, regardless of actual need. Kids seem especially “trained” in this. We see kids who are well-dressed and clean, coming from school, who see us and walk up and say “give me 5 pin” (equivalent of a dollar), just because they’ve apparently learned it might work.

So I’m grappling. What would Jesus do? Would he teach a man to fish, or just give him the fish? It seems that in his parables about himself, he also teaches about farming and fishing and bread-making and so on – but were those just examples the people would understand, or was he intending to teach about Himself while teaching how others are to sustain themselves? Are we supposed to give everything to the poor, essentially becoming poor ourselves, or do we teach in a way that enables the poor to escape poverty? Do we give to anyone and everyone, or try to discern true need? Is it up to us? Even Jesus drew a line here. After teaching and healing many in Capernaum, the people tried to get Jesus to stay, but He knew He was to preach the good news in other towns as well. There may have still been physical needs among the people, but He had taught the Word and knew it was time to move on.

I’m still wrestling with this, especially as we look at our purpose here. Do we give as an open door to sharing the true gift of life? Do we teach with the same intent? To meet a physical need without meeting the more important spiritual needs would supersede the Gospel message. The greatest commandment is to love God; only after which comes the mandate to love others. But as I heard once in a quote, people won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. What is the balance of giving and teaching and sharing Christ? How do we respond in love? To what extent does love include tough love and accountability? Most of all, we find ourselves constantly asking, what would Jesus do?

We would love to hear your thoughts.

Refocusing My Heart

2%

Of the earth’s population, it is only 2% who leave all they know and move to a completely foreign land to live and work.

We’re not talking about moving across the country, or even from one country to a similar country, such as the United States to Canada.  No.  We’re talking about New Zealand to India, Germany to Peru… or the United States to Zambia.

If it were easy to move cross-culturally, more than 2% of people would do it.  But it’s not easy.  And we have been reminded of this truth almost every day since we arrived.

People come by at all hours of the day, and we have needed to learn to give up our food, time, and even sleep to adjust to this open-door culture.  When we do laundry, it takes up to 5 days before we can wear those clothes again; if we put them on sooner, we may have fly larvae burrow into our skin.  Sometimes you can get milk, or cheese, or eggs, or bread; sometimes you can’t.  Sometimes you have power, or running water; sometimes you don’t.

Life is different.

And we knew it would be when we came.  But we were compelled by love.  And as we continue to adjust to the culture, I have been confronted with what the focus of my affection truly is.

As a missionary, we need to love the people to whom we minister.  In our case, this includes a love for the orphans and vulnerable children, as well as the sick and dying, the elderly, the poor, and everybody else in Solwezi.  Christ says that we need to love our neighbors, and we do.

But if it were love for our neighbor that brought me here, I can say that it is not love for our neighbor that keeps me here.  After somebody broke into our home while we were at church, it was not love for our neighbor that kept me here.  I felt little love for my neighbor at that point.

It is love for Christ that keeps me here.

Isn’t this the compulsion we saw demonstrated by Paul?  While on his first missionary journey, the people of Antioch and Iconium stoned him until he was nearly dead.  His response?  He returned to the city.  Why?  Because His passion for Christ compelled Him to bring the Gospel (see Acts 14). 

And so this is my prayer for me, and my prayer for you as well.  May a passion and love for Christ drive you in whatever you do.  For it is only through Him that you can overcome the trials and opposition you face along the way.  

Life's Not Fair

Man is sinful. No matter how often we try to deny it, to prove that we are inherently good, the truth is we're not. We are born sinful. Simple as that.

I was reminded of this today as we played in the "SIMCO vs. the world" volleyball game. Being ultra crazy competitive, I couldn't help but get frustrated when the other team ("the world") wouldn't play by the rules, or when some of my teammates would flub. Of course, it was never my fault. And I just got progressively more and more frustrated.

And then I got convicted. We were there to have fun, and there was no reason for me to be getting angry.

And that's just one example. Every minute feels as though I have a new story I could use as an example of how I am sinful.

As a sinner, I am fully deserving of death. Scripture says that the consequences of our sin is death. And not just death in reference to the end of this life, though that is included. It is an eternal death, an eternal separation from God.

But God, in His grace, has given us an escape from this death.

Grace. What a great word.

When I was growing up, one of the best lessons I ever learned was the meaning of "grace" and "mercy". Two words commonly included together, they really have quite different meanings. "Grace" is getting something that we don't deserve, whereas "mercy" is not getting something that we do deserve. Taken at face value, they almost seem contradictory. When considering the condemnation of sinners to death, both play a beautiful part in providing salvation. Mercy is not receiving the death that we so rightly deserve, while grace is the life that we receive when we deserve death.

I love that way Reliant K puts it in their song "Be My Escape". They say

"The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."

For those who have trusted Christ as their salvation, life's not fair. We don't deserve the eternal life that we've been given. I rightly deserve the death that we've earned. Yet God has given life with Him to all who have trusted His Son. And honestly, sometimes it's hard to accept this grace. It's hard to realize how bad we truly are and to accept that God has freely given us this life. We have earned death, but He has given life.

And sometimes, just sometimes, I'm okay with realizing that life isn't fair. I just pray that it would be not fair for a whole lot more people. And that's why we share God's word with those who haven't heard.