Four Things This Missionary Won't Tell You (But actually will, because he just did...)

There’s a blog post that’s being shared all over facebook that describes the 10 things missionaries won’t tell you. And I’ll admit, I read it. I resonated with a lot of it. And I shared it along with 10,000+ other people (incidentally, that one post has been shared almost as many times as this blog has been seen in the last 7 years combined). It was on my timeline for all of 7 minutes. Then I took it down.

I took it down because, though there’s much I agree with, there were parts that I, well, didn’t so much. It could have been his point, it could’ve been the tone, but either way, I realized that I didn’t want everything he said to be taken as what I would say. It’s not.

And then I realized, I’m a missionary. I have thoughts. And I have a blog. It may be a blog that nobody really reads, and it might need some serious updating, but it’s out there. And I can use it to write my own “things that this missionary won’t tell you but really does because we are open books in this house”. So here’s my list. I’m not speaking for other missionaries here – this is all me.

Our African "wildlife"

First off, communication. We know we need to write more updates and send more thank you notes. We are constantly talking about how we need to update our blog. And it’s not because we aren’t writers that we don’t update. (Well, that’s part of why I don’t update. Tiffany’s a writer, so that’s not really her reason.) I don’t write many updates because, as hard as this might be to believe, there’s really not that much to talk about most of the time.

Yes, we live in Africa, but we don’t have wild animals wandering around outside our house. We have two dogs and a cat. Our neighbors next door have some goats. Across the street, more dogs. Want to see traditional African wildlife? We can take a three-hour car ride to the game park and see some there if we’re lucky.

Yes, we are missionaries doing full-time ministry. But, much like those in full-time ministry in the US, that doesn’t mean we are seeing people trusting in Christ by the hundreds on a day-to-day basis. It doesn’t even mean we are out in the community spending countless hours building relationships with the local people. Because the people we work with have jobs, and families, and lives, just like we do. We build relationships and spend time with them when we can and when they can, but it’s not an every day thing. In fact, my typical day involves waking up (probably way earlier than I want to because the dogs are barking or Michael decides to wake up), doing my quiet time while I drink my coffee, then spending a bajillion hours holed away in my office reading and researching and planning and writing training materials. A few times in the week I’m able to have a brief phone conversation with a local sports minister or pastor. Wednesdays I spend most of the morning working in our garden, and then in the afternoon I make macaroni and cheese for my lunch/dinner. Basically, if you spend a day with me, you’d be bored out of your mind. And so I don’t write about it, because it’d be about as interesting to read as Little Women (which I will admit I haven’t read, but if it’s anything like the movie, I would imagine passing a kidney stone to be more enjoyable).

Which brings me to my second point: prayer requests. We need your prayers, and we deeply appreciate everybody who has been and continues to pray for us. We try to keep you all updated with our more pressing and immediate concerns, whether it’s illness or upcoming meetings or something involving the people we work with. But, that’s not all we need prayer for. Life in full-time ministry is hard, living and working on a spiritual battlefield. It’s true in the US, and it’s true here. We get down. We have bad days (weeks?). We question our effectiveness and even our calling from time to time. But we don’t always share all of these requests with everybody. In fact, I’ll even say that we probably need the most prayer when you haven’t heard anything from us in a while. Sometimes it gets so hard, we don’t know how to articulate it, so we don’t say anything at all.

Next up, money. Not all missionaries have to raise support; we do. But we haven’t found this to be some great burden that we must do in order to do what we want to do. We have been blown away time and again by the way God has provided for our needs, as we have never found ourselves under-supported and unable to continue. I have a friend who recently wrote a book about support-raising as worship, and really, it is. It is an opportunity for us to share what God is doing around the world, and it is an opportunity for people to join in this work. It’s not our work or our ministry; it’s God’s work. We may be on the front lines, but we aren’t the only ones involved. And assembling this team has been one of the greatest encouragements in ministry. Thank you to all who are a part of it.

Finally, loneliness. Yes, we are lonely. I mean, is that really surprising to anybody? Missionaries leave their friends and family behind and move to a new and different place. Obviously we are lonely. And that gets amplified by a number of factors. Yes, I have a relationship with Christ so I’m never actually alone. Yes, I have a wonderful wife who I love spending time with. But, I’m an extrovert, so not having people around me with whom I can relate is extremely draining, and I can’t put the responsibility on introverted somewhat-less-extroverted-than-meTiffany to keep me energized and entertained all day every day. The longer we live in Zambia, this becomes less of an issue as we are better able to relate with the Zambian people without necessarily feeling like we have to be “on” in order to be culturally relevant and appropriate. But, it’s still an issue.

But sometimes loneliness comes because the people around us, with whom we should be able to relate well, we just don’t get along with for one reason or another. Yes, everybody deals with conflict between coworkers from time to time. I get that. But when you live in a completely different country and these are the only people around who share a similar background, it’s hard. You can feel like you have nobody else to lean on, and so you end up feeling…lonely. (Caveat: I’m not saying we don’t get along with our fellow missionaries here. I’m simply saying that, even a small disagreement can seem bigger and more difficult because you’re not on the same page with the people around you who are inherently most like you.)

And though we are lonely, we are often too proud to say so. Or, we don’t know how to say it. I mean, do you get on facebook and say “I’m really lonely today. Maybe somebody should say hi”? But we do get on facebook. And we do appreciate when people “like” what we say. I actually click through to find out who “likes” it. Because it tells me that, though you may not have anything to say back, you at least acknowledge our existence, and that makes us feel a little bit more connected to somebody. (Interestingly enough, facebook stalking is just as creepy to us here, so if you’re going to mention one of our posts in a future conversation with us, please at least like what we had to say.)

This isn’t really a cry for attention – well, maybe a little one. It’s just a simple request from this missionary. I don’t often say write much, but when I do, I like to know if people are listening reading.

So, that’s my long list of only four things that this missionary won’t say but actually just did. I’m sure there are more, and this may be followed by an addendum or two in the future. 

A Moses Moment

I feel a bit like Moses, but not so much in that good, saw God’s face, led His people out of slavery sort of way.  More like in the being used by God can be difficult and confusing, especially when you try to do it on your own sort of way.

In Exodus 17:1-7 we read that, after wandering out into the wilderness, the Israelites began grumbling because there was no water to drink.  So, God told Moses to go before the people with a group of elders, and, using his staff, he was to strike the rock.  Moses did as the Lord commanded, and water flowed from the rock.

Fast forward 40 or so years.  The Israelites are on the edge of the Promised Land, and again they are without water.  In Numbers 20:2-13 we read that Moses and Aaron again asked God what to do.  He told them to go before the people, taking the staff, but this time Moses was to speak to the rock, not strike it.  So they go before the people, and look what Moses does starting in verse 10b:

“[Moses] said to them, ‘Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?’  And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock.”

God told Moses to speak to the rock.  But Moses, finding himself in a similar position to one he’d been in before, took it into his own hands.  He knew that the last time he was supposed to strike the rock; why would this time be different?  So, rather than relying on God and trusting His guidance, Moses did what he thought was right.  He struck the rock.  And water came flowing out.

Before moving on, I can’t help but notice that, despite the disobedience of Moses, God still provided for His people.  Blessings flowing from our actions do not indicate that God is pleased with us or that He is condoning or endorsing our ministry.  A growing ministry is not necessarily one that has been given God’s stamp of approval.  He might choose to bless the people despite our disobedience or shortcomings, but we must never mistake this for God’s approval of our actions.  He will always act so that He receives the most glory, whether we are obedient or not.

Look how God responded to Moses’ actions.  Yes, the people got water, but look at verse 12:

“And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, ‘Because you did not believe in Me, to uphold Me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.’  These are the waters of Meribah, where the people of Israel quarreled with the Lord, and through them He showed Himself holy.”

Their disobedience was not without consequence.  Because they tried to do it on their own, Moses and Aaron were kept from entering the Promised Land.  Yes, the people got water.  Yes, Moses and Aaron got punished.  Most importantly, God used this event to show that He is holy.  He made sure that He – not Moses – received the glory.

Why do I use this story to illustrate how I feel like Moses?  Because my actions seem to mirror his.  When we started our first Sports Friends team in Kimasala, we bathed our efforts in prayer.  We prayed for a coach; we prayed for kids; we prayed for the ministry.  And we saw God do amazing things.

Now, three-plus months later, we are looking at starting another three teams.  Yes, we have prayed about it, but with a level of prideful confidence.  I “know” what works in getting a team started.  I’ve seen it work before.  So I’ve tried to replicate those steps with these new teams.  I’ve tried to do it the way I think God wants it to be done, but I’ve assumed God wants to do it the same way.  The thing is, I’m trying to rely upon my own efforts rather than God’s actions.

And what has been the result of my efforts?

Failure upon failure.  Frustration upon frustration.  The first team started in less than two weeks; we have not seen a new team form in almost two months of trying to get one started.  Not only that, the coach of the first team recently moved away, leaving us with no active teams at all right now.  We’ve been working at this ministry for months now, and we have nothing to show for it.

Because, despite trying to say otherwise, I’ve been seeking the glory that only belongs to God.

As with Moses, God has put a big task before me and called me to lead under His guidance.  Like Moses, I have seen God do amazing things.  And like Moses, I try to take things into my own hands and rob God of the glory due His name.

Hopefully this time I actually learn the lesson and rely upon Him.

From Football to False Prophets - a Conversation

“So, what are you doing here?” asked the young man I was driving from Kimasala to town.

An appropriate question to consider a year and a half after moving to Zambia.  My response would have been different a year ago, 9 months ago, even 6 months ago.  Much has changed in our plans and in our ministry.  So, I answered him according to the most recent development.

“We are working with local churches to establish sports ministries.  I help to train sports ministers from the church to start teams with the children in the community, build relationships with the kids, and then share Christ with them.”  I probably wasn’t so eloquent, but it was along those lines.

As I drove down the pot-holed road to town, we started talking about the churches in Zambia.  I explained that we had planned to join a local church when we arrived, but found a great need for a church among the non-Zambian community, many of whom do not leave their secluded, fenced, and guarded golf estate on the edge of town.  My passenger seemed intrigued by this and asked a few questions before dropping an unexpected one.

“Are you a Christian?”

My first reaction was to say, “Uh, duh.”  But, I’ve learned to be a bit more polite than that, so I answered with a respectful, “Yes.”

“I mean, are you born again?” he asked.

“Yes, sir.  We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t.”

And this is where it started to get interesting.  This young man – a teacher at a local school – began to tell me that church leaders need to be more powerful, and that churches will continue to fail unless the leaders start doing miracles.  He went on to tell me that performing miracles is a sign of a true believer.

“Just look at TB Joshua,” he said.

I didn’t know how to respond to that last comment, and before I had the chance to come up with anything, I came across a local pastor I’ve been working with to start a team at his church.  When I stopped to offer the pastor a ride, my first passenger hopped out of the car and walked off, leaving the conversation hanging and me pondering his comments.

That was Saturday.  Now, three days later, I still can’t wrap my head around this conversation.  Not because he made solid points.  I got lost somewhere in the middle of his monologue.  What I am struggling with is the amount of bad theology prevalent in other countries that is finding a strong foothold here among the churches of Zambia as well.  The prosperity gospel, which teaches that, if you believe in Jesus Christ, you will be blessed with health and wealth, and, subsequently, failure to have health or wealth is a sign of lack of faith, is a growing trend here, only exacerbated by the large (and wealthy) churches that preach this belief.  Similarly, the “God-olatry” of the name-it-and-claim-it teachers is ravaging the spiritual lives of many here and at home.  There is a fine line between praying in faith that God will act, and TELLING God what He is going to do, and I fear that the line was crossed long ago.  Then there are the TV personalities like “Prophet” TB Joshua, whose “acts of healing” and “prophecies” have repeatedly been proven false or staged, yet who still command a massive international following.  If somebody claims to be a prophet, speaking the very words of God, and then those words turn out to be untrue, does that not mean that he is a false prophet?

If you were expecting me to conclude with some great theological statement, I am sorry to disappoint.  If nothing else, this episode has forced me to refocus my eyes upon Christ and Christ alone, and it has reminded me that, just because there are churches at every corner does NOT mean that the Gospel is proclaimed throughout this land.  There is still work to be done here.

And we feel so blessed to be a part of it.

A Look Inside Luke's Head

This is just a glimpse into my (Luke’s) head - the "Llama's Logic" at it's finest.  I wrote what follows in my journal during my time in Ethiopia learning about Sports Friends.

I don’t know how anybody could come see this ministry and not be profoundly affected.  We visited three churches today, all of which were started through Sports Friends, all of which are in otherwise 100% M_slim areas, and all of which were growing, training leaders, and changing lives.  Denomination doesn’t matter.  Age doesn’t matter.  Building doesn’t matter.  God matters.  These churches exist for the glory of God and are actively and sacrificially evangelizing.  Visiting these churches, even briefly, was both humbling and encouraging, and I find myself deeply convicted of apathy.  I keep asking myself,

WHEN DID I LOSE SIGHT OF MY FIRST LOVE?

I was drawn to missions out of a confidence of God’s calling in my life.  Unlike so many things in my life now, I didn’t resist this calling.  I understood God’s amazing act of grace in my life, and I desperately wanted the world to experience His grace, too.  I was deeply, passionately in love with Christ.  But when did this raging fire dim to a flickering candle?  When did I become comfortable in simply being a missionary in title, but doing so little to actually tell others about Christ?

WHEN DID MY LOVE GROW COLD?

As I sit on the veranda of the beach house at Camp Langano, I look up and read

Be still and know that

I AM GOD

-Psalm 46:10

A simple verse, and one that I have known for years.  But even now it is exactly what I needed to read.  I feel so much turmoil in my life and ministry right now, and I am so excited to go back and see what God does with this experience.  I keep thinking of more and different ways to bring all I’ve learned here to the field in Zambia.  Strategies repeatedly come to mind.  Logistics.  Plans.  But I need to always remember that God is God, and He is in control.  So, we may go back and see nothing happen in Zambia; or, we can go back and see lives changed for Christ.  Either way, He is truly and absolutely in control.  I just get to participate in the great things He is doing.

So I look forward to getting back to Zambia.  I look forward to training church leaders to actually care about the spiritual state of the world and actually do something about it.  I look forward to being a part of an interdenominational church planting movement among the “reached” and the unreached alike.  I look forward to seeing God change lives.  I look forward to seeing the face and focus of missions change so that we see incarnational missionaries passionately and intentionally sharing the gospel.  That’s what is important.  When did mission strategy become more important than the gospel message?  When did the status quo become more important than radical change for Christ?  When did comfort become more important than Christ?  When did church polity become more important than gospel ministry?  In essence,

WHEN DID I BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAN CHRIST?

Life... With Purpose

"Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.  For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.  If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me.  Yet which I choose I cannot tell.  I am hard pressed between the two.  My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.  But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account."

~Philippians 1:18c-24

On Friday, September 17, 2010, I read these words during my morning devotions.  This passage is so familiar to me, as I am sure it is familiar to so many of you, but it never struck me before as it did that morning.  I spent much of my day chewing on it, pondering its implications for my life.  More specifically, I thought about how God is keeping me here for a specific purpose.  The same is true for all of us.  The lives we live have a great purpose - a purpose determined by God.  That purpose involves affecting others.  Paul understood this, stating in verse 24 that he remained alive because the Philippians had something still to learn from him.  God was not yet done with him.

As I spent the day meditating on these words, I had no idea that God would use them to comfort me and grow me in the days that would follow.

On Saturday, September 18, 2010, my family was forever changed.  That was the day that Mike died.  We were immediately faced with the questions that so many in similar circumstances have faced.  Questions of "Why?  Why would God take Mike from us?  What good could possibly come of this?"  This event has helped me understand the anger that others express at God when something bad happens - I felt it.  It helped me understand the pain of loosing a piece of your heart - I can feel the hole.

I'm not ready to "get over it" yet.  And I may never be.

But, I am beginning to understand, I think (maybe).

Everything we do affects those around us.  We do not live in isolation, no matter how hard we try.  We live in community - that's how we were designed.  The purpose we have been given, then, is to play a role in the lives of those around us.  As a Christian, I believe this to mean that I am called to share the love of Christ with the people around me.  We may not know exactly who we are supposed to affect, but that doesn't necessarily matter.  What matters is that we live well, for the lives we have are not our own.

Mike lived well.  And we are now getting a glimpse at the impact he had on those around him.

For those who continue, I pray that God will guide us to live in a way that glorifies Him and shows His love to the nations.  And I praise God that when my time is finished - when my purpose is complete - I can spend the rest of eternity with Him.

Car Craziness!

Living in Dallas for just over three years, one learns to ignore car alarms. Most of the nights that we lived there, somebody's car alarm would go off outside our window, and for the first year or two I would actually drag myself out of bed to determine if it was mine...and it never was. Ever.

So I got over it. I would hear a car alarm, and I could guarantee you that it was not mine. And in Dallas, I would be right.

Now we live in Peoria, and though car alarms are still heard, they are not nearly as common as before. Add to that the fact that we have nobody living next to us, above us (we live in a duplex), across the street from us, or next door to across the street from us, and it would be pretty obvious to anybody else that if you hear a car alarm while in our apartment, it IS mine. It has to be...there aren't any other cars out there.

But I was tired, so I ignored it. And eventually it stopped.

So I thought nothing of it until I woke up to go to work and decided I would drive (I usually walk the block and a half to Central, but it was raining). I get out to my car, and everything seems normal. I unlock, and the dome light doesn't turn on. I open the doors, and the dome light doesn't turn on. I get in the driver's seat, and finally the dome light kicks on. And stays on.

Now, I don't know what's going on here, but I'm beginning to wonder (hope?) if my car, a 2004 Saturn Ion, has a mind of its own. I mean, I feel like I'm driving BumbleBee, from Transformers, only it's not quite so sweet and it doesn't become a huge robot of awesome to fight aliens or anything. But seriously, I can't get the alarm to turn on, I have a dickens of a hard time locking it, the dome lights won't turn off, and I'm convinced that pretty soon it's going to start picking the radio station for me.

It's been a good day.

Life's Not Fair

Man is sinful. No matter how often we try to deny it, to prove that we are inherently good, the truth is we're not. We are born sinful. Simple as that.

I was reminded of this today as we played in the "SIMCO vs. the world" volleyball game. Being ultra crazy competitive, I couldn't help but get frustrated when the other team ("the world") wouldn't play by the rules, or when some of my teammates would flub. Of course, it was never my fault. And I just got progressively more and more frustrated.

And then I got convicted. We were there to have fun, and there was no reason for me to be getting angry.

And that's just one example. Every minute feels as though I have a new story I could use as an example of how I am sinful.

As a sinner, I am fully deserving of death. Scripture says that the consequences of our sin is death. And not just death in reference to the end of this life, though that is included. It is an eternal death, an eternal separation from God.

But God, in His grace, has given us an escape from this death.

Grace. What a great word.

When I was growing up, one of the best lessons I ever learned was the meaning of "grace" and "mercy". Two words commonly included together, they really have quite different meanings. "Grace" is getting something that we don't deserve, whereas "mercy" is not getting something that we do deserve. Taken at face value, they almost seem contradictory. When considering the condemnation of sinners to death, both play a beautiful part in providing salvation. Mercy is not receiving the death that we so rightly deserve, while grace is the life that we receive when we deserve death.

I love that way Reliant K puts it in their song "Be My Escape". They say

"The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."

For those who have trusted Christ as their salvation, life's not fair. We don't deserve the eternal life that we've been given. I rightly deserve the death that we've earned. Yet God has given life with Him to all who have trusted His Son. And honestly, sometimes it's hard to accept this grace. It's hard to realize how bad we truly are and to accept that God has freely given us this life. We have earned death, but He has given life.

And sometimes, just sometimes, I'm okay with realizing that life isn't fair. I just pray that it would be not fair for a whole lot more people. And that's why we share God's word with those who haven't heard.

Featured stories...and what should be

I still have a Yahoo! email address, though I rarely use it. Every now and then I get something important in it (like information regarding Tim and Danielle's wedding), but usually it's junk mail. Nevertheless, part of my Internet routine is to check my Yahoo! page (after quickly scanning facebook for anything really interesting and before scanning over my dad's blog). Today was no exception, so I navigate to yahoo.com, and up pops the page I've come to know so well. I quickly scan the four featured stories that pop up, and the first one...the one that is the feature of features...the one with the picture up first that you will be sure to see as soon as you get to Yahoo!...is about Michael Jackson. Again. This one in particular was about a song of his that is previously unreleased but apparently sounds very similar to another song. Shocking.

I happened to glance a little further down the page and saw a much more interesting headline. Apparently there were a couple of bombings at some hotels in Jakarta (a Ritz and a Marriott, I believe), killing 8 and injuring about 50. This was just above something about Sotomayor's impending appointment, and a few above a video of a man proposing to his girlfriend on a big screen...while in his underwear.

Not gonna lie, judging by the way this was all laid out, I'm reminded again of how messed up our priorities really are...

The Downside of Being an Extrovert

So, we've been in Charlotte just about a week now, and I've slept about half as much here as I normally do. It's weird. Being in Peoria, we get home from work, eat dinner, and then go basically straight to bed. Here at our Candidate Orientation, there are 21 people staying on our floor, meaning I am around people basically all the time.

Now, keep in mind that when I take personality inventories I score almost off the charts in the extroversion category.

And when I met with the staff psychologist in January, he told me that he has never seen an introversion score so low (i.e., he's never seen a score indicating such extreme extroversion).

With that in mind, put me around people and I go crazy. I can't stand being in another room if I hear somebody's voice out in the kitchen or in the great room. I'd rather be sitting there talking to them. It kills me to think of going to bed when other people are up having fun. Or even if they're just up. So I stay up.

Which means I don't sleep.

And then I'm still on waking up early to go open the pool mode, so I get up crazy early after going to bed much later than I am used to, ultimately meaning that I'm sleeping basically not at all. So as the weekend approaches, I find myself almost unable to function. I have a hard time focusing in the sessions during the day because my eyelids are getting heavy. I don't really see a break in the near future, as we are planning a big group outing to a state park on Saturday, and Tiffany and Bruce Johnson (the incoming US Director) are trying to convince me to bike there. And I'm like "What!?!"

So, basically, as much as I like being an extrovert, sometimes it gets in the way of sleeping.

And sleeping is a good thing.

Trash Collection

We Americans are blessed. We are more blessed than we can even begin to realize. We have more than we could ever want or need readily available to us at any moment. Most of us have access to clean drinking water, a warm place to sleep, and thousands of foods we can't even pronounce. Many of us could not even tell you where our trash goes after the garbage truck comes and picks it up.

Last week on the news they spoke of a city just north of Dallas trying to save money, cutting back on residential trash collection. Instead of coming twice per week, the garbage trucks would only come around once. The reaction? A young woman, not much older than Tiffany and me, was complaining that this cutback will result in disgusting living situations. Apparently her small family in suburban Dallas produces so much trash in one week that it needs to be picked up at least twice per week. In Peoria our trash was collected every Friday, and our family of 7 (6 of whom are male) definitely contributed our share of trash, but our living situation was not "disgusting".

Isn't it interesting that we take our blessings for granted, only realizing them when they are taken away? But even once-weekly trash collection is better than the majority of people in the world. Just ask those living in the squatter camps or shanty towns of the world. Not only do they lack any sort of trash pick up, they often are located where the trash is taken.

Indeed, we are blessed. And once-weekly trash collection is a great example of this blessing.

Sand

SAND:

1. A fine, often loose, debris of rocks, typically mostly quartz

2. The stuff that gets stuck in your shoes when walking on the beach

3. A light reddish- or brownish-yellow color

4. The preferred method of de-icing the streets in Dallas, because, you know, that's effective.

Assignment in Habakkuk

Habakkuk is not necessarily the easiest book in the Bible to understand. I mean, most people have a hard time just spelling its author's name. Yet one teacher, missionary in Nigeria, decided to have her seventh grade class study this book. As part of this study, she had the students write their own "book" to God in the same general format as the book - our complaint, God's reply, and our prayer in response (note: I realize that the book itself actually has two interchanges between Habakkuk and God, but, hey, they were seventh graders, not seminary students). Some of the kid's assignments were included in the latest "Serving in Mission Together", a magazine put out by SIM. I'm including one here that particularly struck me.

"One girl wrote: Complaint - 'God, you took my mum and left me alone to care for the younger children.' She created this answer from God: 'My dearest daughter, you know I love you and always will. You and your family are mine. Your mum is mine, and I was sharing her with you.'"


Nothing like the words of a child to really put everything into perspective.

The King in Prince Caspian

So, I'm pretty much addicted to watching movies. Currently in the loop in our study is Prince Caspian, which I watch about every other day. Granted I love the whole movie, but there is one part towards the end that really gets me every time. While Peter is having his duel to save Narnia, Lucy goes into the woods to find Aslan. When she finally gets to him, we have a scene where she is laying in front of him and they're talking. The dialogue goes something like this.

Lucy: "I wanted to come sooner, but the others didn't believe me."
Aslan: "And why would that keep you from coming?"
Lucy: "I'm sorry."

She knew that what the others thought should not have been an excuse, so when questioned about this her only response was to apologize.

How often do we have similar conversations with God? When we finally get around to seeking Him, we bring excuses. "I would have come sooner, but (insert bad reason here)." And God responds lovingly, but sternly, making us realize that He should take priority over anything else. We have nothing to do but apologize for our lack of faith.

There is nothing that should keep us from our Father. No man, no feeling, no schedule. God deserves the praises due His name. So when we find ourselves making excuses for not pursuing Him, we must realize our lack of faith and humbly come into His presence, not bearing these excuses, but turning to our loving Father who, alone, can provide the forgiveness and love we need.

When God Spins You 'Round

Do you ever take life for granted? You know what I'm talking about. You stop looking at everything you have as a great gift from God, but rather as a given that you deserve. No longer is your job a blessing, but a drudgery that you have to go to every day. What was once a vibrant relationship with the Creator has become an understanding that He is there, but only as much as you want Him to be.

I was going through a time like that. I finished my last seminary class last Friday, and since all of my work was turned in before that, when I left campus, I was officially done with seminary. I was proud of myself, and ready to go out and do what I wanted to do. I didn't see my training as a blessing of God preparing me for the ministry and life He has planned for me; I saw it as a step in the path that lead me to where I wanted to go.

So I went about my life how I wanted to. And that's when God decided to give my life a spin.

Literally.

I was driving to work at about 3 on Monday afternoon. Driving in Dallas is always an experience, but this particular trip would prove to be the most memorable. As I came off an exit ramp and looked to merge left, a car flew up on my left side, pulls directly in front of me (where there really wasn't room), and then slams on the brakes. With nothing else to do, I tried to get into the now empty lane to my left, but had to slam on my brakes so as not to crash into the (really expensive) car directly in front of me. The combination of turning my wheel, hitting the brakes, and borderline frozen pavement sent me spinning. My car started spinning to the right while traveling to the left before my wheels caught (I was steering in the direction of the skid). I immediately started spinning left and traveling back in the direction I came from (and then some). I spun two and a half rotations traveling right across three lanes of traffic, then another quarter turn back before coming to a gentle stop on the shoulder, safely between some construction cones and a few yards from a flashing construction sign.

Pretty frightening, right?

But get this - I didn't hit anything. No cars smashed into me. Never hit a guard rail. Never hit a traffic cone. Didn't blow a tire. No injuries. Nothing.

Did I mention it was 3 PM, the beginning of Dallas rush hour? I was by no means the only car on the road, yet I never hit or got hit by anything.

All at once I realized two things. First, I realized that God has plans for me that did not include me getting killed on Monday. Second, they are God's plans, and they are a blessing to be a part of, so I need to live my life accordingly, giving credit where it is due and seeking to glorify Him in all that I do.

As I realize that there is no other reason for me to be alive and healthy today than God's provision and protection, I wonder if maybe you are taking life for granted as well. Maybe you feel as though you are going through the motions of life, not really having much purpose in what you are doing. Now would be a great time to turn to the Father who loves you and dedicate your life to serving Him. Otherwise He may use other means to get your attention. And sometimes that doesn't feel so good...but serving the Lord brings a greater joy than we can ever imagine.

Smiles for the Season

I woke up this morning after a 12-hour turkey coma to the sound of rain pattering on the window sill. It took a moment before I realized that it was on the inside of the window, since our windows leak from the top and make a nice puddle on the floor. I rolled out of bed and put on the hoodie conveniently located on the floor next to me. My eyes adjusted as I looked at the bedroom clock, did some quick math to subtract 23 minutes from the time shown to determine that it was 8 in the morning. I thought about all of the sales that I had already missed by "sleeping in" until 8 and realized that I really didn't care. I went into the living room and did my quiet time, then decided it was time to go to the gym, so I walk outside into the frigid 50-degree air and took a deep breath. Well, actually it was more of a half breath, as the air in Dallas is not really the cleanest air in the world. Anyway, I took the half breath and a cough and thought to myself, "Christmas is in the air." And I couldn't do anything but smile.

So it's the night after Thanksgiving, and I'm sitting on the couch in our living room unable to see Laura through the Christmas tree we just put up. Tiff and Laura are at the bistro table painting little pumpkins (leftover from Halloween almost a month ago) to look like Santa and snowmen. I'm supposed to be writing a paper, but I'm not really wanting to. So here I am, taking in the moment and enjoying the fact that less than one month from today we will gather together with Christians around the world praising God as we remember and celebrate the birth of our Savior.

And that's exciting...and why I can't do anything but smile.

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Now playing: Chris Rice - Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
via FoxyTunes

Where is our hope?

Two weeks off from school is never really easy for me. It's not that I so enjoy spending hours reading and doing homework and these two weeks cramp my style, but more that I don't know what to do with myself with all this free time. On past breaks, I've spent endless hours watching movies, but our DVD player recently tanked and that option has gone out the window. So now I find myself sitting in front of our TV watching bad daytime shows and wondering what to do with myself.

Like today. After sleeping till almost 9, I got up, showered and shaved and got ready for another day of sitting around until work this afternoon. At 11 I turned on the Bonnie Hunt Show, not so much because I really like it but more because it's something to watch that's not a Soap. While it was on I began reading and didn't realize that Bonnie was over and Martha Stewart had started. When I lifted my eyes, I saw Martha talking with Tom Brokaw, and I was intrigued by the conversation. Not that I should have been surprised, but they were discussing the "wonderful" events of the recent presidential election. During this conversation, Brokaw stated that Obama exemplifies the hope of our country, both personally and ideologically. I couldn't help but be bothered by this comment for a number of reasons.

First, that is a lot of pressure to place on a single human being. Sure, he ran on a platform promising hope for America, but now that he has been elected, the whole country is counting on him to make positive changes for us and future generations. The problem is that, being merely human, he is going to let us down at some point in some way. Probably more often than not. Yet so many in America, and across the world, are placing all their hope in this one man. And that, to me, is frightening.

And horribly sad.

No single individual can meet the all the expectations we put on them, especially if we are placing our hope on them to better our future. And not just our temporal future. There is an eternal future that must be of greater concern to us, and there is only one source of hope for this future - Jesus Christ. God has promised that all who trust in His Son for the forgiveness of sins will live with Him in eternity, but those who do not trust in His Son will be forever separated from Him, living for eternity in the torment of being separated from love and good.

Now, there are some who do not believe in eternity after this life. They view death as an annihilation of our being, and therefore there is no reason to look to anything beyond this life. They argue that we must therefore make the best of this life and enjoy it while we can, because once we're dead, we're dead. Yet this view has no hope, and living without hope is not living at all. Though I agree that we only have one life as we know it, the life that comes from Christ is one that will never end, and it is one that is spent in the eternal beauty and love of the Father who made us and loves us dearly.

And that is a life worth hoping in.

So as we look to our newly-elected president as the hope for the future of our country, may this not be the end of our hope. Let us join together with the hymn writer in declaring that "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness."





And I'm so sorry if this entry doesn't make sense. My mind was moving faster than my hands...

It's....October?

What happened to September? It was here the other day...

But it's now October, which means a lot. It means that the weather is "changing" (highs are in the 80s now). It means that millions of people are flocking to Dallas for the state fair. It means that candy corn is more easily found in the grocery store. And it means that the semester is halfway over.

My last semester...halfway over.

Am I really this close to be being done? It seems like only yesterday I started, but soon I'll put away those books and pens (For all those Saved By The Bell fans out there). In two months, my last papers are due and my last exams will be taken, then I'll be done. I'll be given a piece of paper that says that I am qualified to go and teach God's Word to people of other nations.

Yet I feel so unbelievably unqualified. I'm not ready to carry this responsibility. But I know that God has other plans than I do. I know that He will give me the ability to do His will, regardless of how I feel or what a little piece of paper says. So I must learn to rely on Him, not my education.

And those are my thoughts this morning.

The Church and the Ice Cream Cone

"The bigger a church gets, the more prone it is to becoming a self-licking ice cream cone"

My "Theology of Missions" professor made this comment during class this past week, and the entire class – all twelve of us – laughed pretty heartily before we considered the gravity of what was said. Although it doesn't necessarily summarize my first week of my last semester of Seminary, it does provide a good topic for consideration. I'll start with a little bit of the context in which the comment was made.

Our class discussion for this particular session was on the nature and extent of sin. It's a topic that pretty much all of my professors have addressed at some point, but most of them do it using the theological language of the seminary classroom. This professor insisted that we not use any seminary language, but talk as though we were explaining sin to a ten-year-old. As we continued in the discussion, we began to consider how our perspective on sin will affect those to whom we are ministering. If we have a lax view of sin – portraying sin as a simple error that can be fixed and forgotten – we will never show it for what it really is – a constant rejection of the dominion of the Divine. As sin continues in our lives, it shows those to whom we minister that it is okay to reject God's authority. It's like leading them directly into the ground without them even realizing it. Dr. Bradley used the illustration of performance fighter plane fliers who followed each other so closely in formation that when the leader performed a loop too close to the ground, all the others followed suit and all of the men ended up crashing into the ground. Likewise, a view of sin that is too light will not only lead us into further rebellion, but it will also lead all those who follow us.

And that's when the quote came out. We got onto the topic of how some churches avoid teaching about the truth of sin, preferring instead to emphasize God's love. I'm not going to name any names, but some of the largest churches in the country avoid talking honestly about sin so that the members can feel good about themselves. The message they hear appeals to them, but it doesn't convict them. These churches begin to grow without addressing the real issue at hand. And, as these churches continue to grow, the avoidance of the sin issue is reinforced because the numbers are increasing, and, according to the Western mentality, the more members a church has, the more successful it must be. They truly become a self-licking ice cream cone.

Sin is not always an easy issue to talk about. Most people don't like to hear how bad we are. Yet we must be willing to address this issue if we are going to be honest about God's Truth. Just remember, we will never fully appreciate what God has done for us if we do not rightly understand what God has saved us from. Sin is utterly, absolutely hideous every time it occurs, and we should never sugar coat this truth. But we can add hope to this message as we remember the hope we have in Christ.

Just some thoughts on the Olympics...

So, my dad has been a sports journalist for basically an eternity now, but since he prefers to work in the small market newspapers, he doesn't get to travel to the Olympics....though many people have been asking me about that lately. He does, however, have many friends who do travel over there, and he's pretty well informed about what's going on. He wrote on his blog a week or two ago about how China was trying to control what the world-wide media says and does during the Olympics. I'll let you go to his blog yourself....and enjoy what you read. He's a much better writer than I am.

On another note, since the opening ceremonies on Friday night and all their extravagance, I have been completely plastered to my television set. I only get NBC, and that comes in and out depending on the location of the rabbit ears on our set, but they cover the headline sports, which for the Olympics that's really all I care about. And being a former gymnast, swimmer, and diver, these past few days have been intense. Men's and women's qualifying in gymnastics, the men's finals last night with the US taking a surprising bronze (much better than that sixth place I and many others predicted), the synchronized diving domination by the Chinese, and the gills of the US swim team have all kept my eyes glued to the small 19" screen. Perhaps the greatest two moments of the Olympics so far have been the US men getting third in gymnastics last night (behind China and Japan, surprise, surprise) and Jason Lezak coming from behind and touching out France for the gold in the 400 Free Relay on Sunday night. Being the child of my father, I love to yell at the television and tell the athletes how I feel about the performance. However, as Tiffany goes to bed at about 8:30 or 9:00, I had to hold it in, as both of these spectacular events took place after 10:00. So instead I just pumped my fists in the air and pretended to yell.

Next up on my agenda: watch the US women's gymnastics team do what it does best...crumble under Olympic pressure. We got a taste of it the other day when Alicia Sacramone decided to tumble completely off the floor, Nastia Liukin took a seat as she dismounted from bars, and Chelsie Memmel looked like she just didn't want to hang onto the bar anymore. I'm starting to have flashbacks of the 92 games when Kim Zmeskel and company were slated to dominate and all they did was drop the ball. But we'll see.

Disciplinary Action

Oh, the spiritual disciplines. I remember reading a book about them for school a couple years ago. "The Spirit of the Disciplines," by Dallas Willard. I remember enjoying that book. I remember the assignment of practicing at least one discipline for a period of time to be enjoyable and educational. I actually continued with this discipline for some time after the class ended. Then life happened, and it all changed.

But first, a flashback...

Going back to college, I remember having to be extremely structured with my time. Being on the swim team my freshman year, I would be in class all day, go to practice in the middle of the afternoon, go straight to work, go to some Christian event on campus (between prayer meetings, CRU gatherings, and worship, I had something every night of the week), then go home, do homework, do my quiet time, and go to bed. Every day. Very structured. Yet very disciplined. I always did my quiet time, and when I did, I always read one chapter from an O.T. book of history, five psalms, one proverb, one chapter from the prophets, one chapter from a Gospel, and one chapter from an epistle. Then I would journal, usually for about half an hour or so. Then I would pray. Very, very disciplined. And I grew a lot during that time. Then life happened, and things changed. The swim team got cut, and I became a cheerleader, which was more work and different practice times. My whole schedule changed, and all of a sudden I didn't have the freetime at night to do my quiet times anymore. I tried getting up early in the morning to do them, but 4 am is really early for a college student, and that didn't work. I tried to do them in the middle of the day, but I would fall asleep. It never occurred to me to stop some of my other activities to give some time for God...a lesson I didn't learn for many more years and that I continue to struggle with now.

So here I am, out of college for over three years, looking to finish up seminary in about four months, and considering what God has planned for Tiffany and myself in regards to full-time ministry overseas. Yet I still have a hard time devoting time to God. It's been bothering me for a while, and I keep saying that I'm going to do something about it, but then I don't. I'd much rather putz around and do nothing. But Tuesday night, when I was unable to sleep for hours on end, I had a little discussion time with God. You know how sometimes you pray for unimportant things and God turns you around so you look at the important things, instead. I was praying that I could become more disciplined and start working out more, as I have been frustrated with the irregularity of my workouts. So, as I'm praying this, I feel deeply convicted that I'm not disciplined in my time with God, so how could I ask to be disciplined in my time elsewhere. I needed to get my priorities straight and refocus on the things that matter. So I've taken action on this issue with the hopes of becoming more disciplined in my time with God. I've devoted time every morning (well, Wednesday and today...I don't know what happened yesterday...) to reading God's word, praying, and even journaling (well, I really only journaled on Wednesday....but there's still time today). Though it's only been a few days, I feel like my whole life is getting back into some sort of structure, all because I've made the effort to focus on God regularly and let other things get pushed to the side until He gets my focus. I took some disciplinary action, and it has really made a difference and encouraged me to continue in this discipline.