Pain in Childbearing

“To the woman he said,

‘I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;

in pain you shall bring forth children.’” – Genesis 3:16a

Pain in childbearing. This was Eve’s punishment for disobeying God and eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Eve had barely processed her new relationship, and with that the command to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:28), and now she learns that the big proactive command she’s been given is going to bring great pain.

I’ve been mulling over and pondering this verse for several months now. What exactly is pain in childbearing? Obviously, the physical labor of delivering a child is a painful experience. No woman will argue that (and no man will dare try). Now, I’m not looking to discount any male preachers or theologians, here, who look at “pain in childbearing” and (not wrongfully) assume it is what it is; pain in the actual act of delivery. We all have our birth stories, and some can be downright miserable, but scripture even tells us that we tend to forget how bad the pain actually was, because of the joy of the baby.

“When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.” – John 16:21

And yet this was Eve’s punishment? A few minutes, or perhaps hours (or days, if you have it really rough) of birthing pain?

I think there’s a lot more to it.

It took us four years to conceive Michael. That time of waiting, of not knowing, and of wanting was hard, especially as the months and years went on and the tests kept coming back negative.

When we learned of Michael’s kidney issues in utero, the concern, the fear, and the helplessness were sometimes paralyzing.

Though Michael’s actual delivery was not too bad (or perhaps that was the joy and adrenaline speaking!), his premature arrival was terrifying as we wondered if he would be okay, and then sat day after day in the hospital yearning to take him home.

 

Watching him grow and learn, but seeing him go through seizures and sickness and sadness and disappointment breaks this mama’s heart, though I know that he will face disappointment often in life.

We were overjoyed when we found out we were pregnant in March, though faint lines made it uncertain at first. Within a week of confirmation that we were indeed, expecting, Jesus took that sweet baby home. Heartache. Emotional heartache. And physical exhaustion, ache, and brokenness.

And now, as we celebrate our third pregnancy and look forward to this sweet baby girl’s birth in March, there is joy, but there is also heartache. After a miscarriage, it’s hard not to worry about her well-being. I find myself unable to read or listen to stories of loss without being overwhelmed by concern. We wonder what her timing will be like and every new week we praise God that she’s still well. It sounds terrible to write, and I remind myself to trust and hope, but I also know that God is sovereign and His will is perfect. And He said there would be pain in the process.

You see, the physical pain of childbearing is real. But the emotional and spiritual pain is so much more. It doesn’t stop when baby is born. It’s there in the women who so desperately want to conceive and can’t. It’s there in the women who lose a sweet baby in the womb. It’s there every day in the life of every mother who sees her child endure pain, sickness or sadness.  It’s there when your child says he doesn’t love you or chooses a path you wouldn’t have wished for him. It's there when they disobey you, perhaps giving us a small taste of how God felt when Adam and Eve disobeyed.

We don’t hear much about Eve’s birth experiences, but as a woman, I assure you that the pain she endured when Cain murdered Abel shook her to her core, and likely scarred her through her last days.

I believe every woman endures the pain of childbearing in some way or another. We “bring forth children” with great trepidation and great pain, physically and emotionally. But also great faith, dependence on God, and abundant joy. And it’s the joy – the joy of teaching our children (from our own womb or those we’ve been blessed to raise or pour into) about Jesus and doing the absolute best we can do to raise men and women of God.

There will be pain in childbearing. Every step of the way. But there will also be great joy. Cling to the joy. For the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,

the fruit of the womb a reward. – Psalm 127:3

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Sometimes hard, ugly, painful, scary stuff happens.  Watching the news (or my Facebook newsfeed), it seems rare that there is ever a time when hard, ugly, painful, scary stuff isn't happening. Seriously. While the media can certainly desensitize us to the ugly things of this world, it can also wrench your heart into pieces and send you to your knees in prayer.

Today I woke up to the news that an infection took the life of a young missionary girl in Thailand. In the last few weeks, I had one friend lose her mother and another his son. Good friends from our church are learning a new normal after their three-year-old lost his legs in a lawn mowing accident. So many others I know are dealing with hard decisions, struggling marriages, and a whole lot of other ugly, painful, scary, stuff. I can't even begin to think of the struggles of those whose loved ones were on the Malaysian flight, or are on the front lines in the Gaza strip or the conflict in the Ukraine.

And not to discount the small, everyday weights that may be bearing on you and on us right now. You know, those little things that add up and just push you right over the edge but you stuff them down because it all seems so petty compared to the big, ugly stuff of the world. The car that won't start. The argument with your boss. The cookies that get burnt or the toddler who won't sleep. I hear you brother, sister, and those feelings are very real.

We live in a fallen world, folks. Whether your trials are small or immense, they're hard. I get that.

Our house was broken into yesterday. Really, our office, which is attached to our carport, separate from the house. Everything was thrown around as the perpetrator searched for money (not just speculation - he actually wrote "I need cash" in the dust on the hood of our vehicle). There wasn't money to take, but he did make off with an external hard drive, several flash drives, and other small items he could try to sell for the money he needed.

Despite living in a culture that is overwhelmed by poverty and desperation and material "stuff" is just that, this sort of thing can shake you to your core. For Luke with all that he's been struggling with lately, this put him right up onto the edge of burnout. Admittedly, I was shaken for sure, but I felt immense peace in the midst of it. In fact, I think it actually annoyed my husband when I didn't flip out. I just got mad at him for waking Michael up in the middle of it all. I don't know what it is, and I'm not trying to sound super strong and righteous, but God has just filled me with peace lately.

When we received a $700 water bill that our renters didn't pay - peace.

When we discovered that our electric line is sparking in the middle of a tree by our house - peace.

When we struggled to get the ownership on our new vehicle changed - peace.

And when we discovered the office ransacked and things missing - peace.

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."- John 16:33

I can't explain it, other than that maybe God has given me an extra measure of peace at a time when Luke and Michael most need me to be strong.

We've been told that different terms of service on the mission field have different significance and purpose. We've only been here a few months, and I feel like I'm here more for what God is doing in me than what I'm doing for Him. Over and over again He has drawn me into prayer and given me great peace. In these trials - ours and those of the people around us, I just keep seeing His faithfulness.

Friend, He is so faithful. For real. I could basically type out Romans 8 right now and leave it at that.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." - Romans 8:18

We have hope. Brother, Sister, we have Hope in the hard, ugly, painful, scary stuff. We know the verses. We sing the songs, but I think it is in the midst of that very stuff - the hard, ugly, painful, scary stuff - that we can bask in His face and His glory and His faithfulness. And we have hope.

"For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." - Romans 8:24-25

Luke often sings Great is thy Faithfulness to rock Michael to sleep when he's upset. Today, I found myself doing the same. And he calmed, released, and fell asleep in my arms. Perhaps it was the familiar sound. Perhaps it was the words. Perhaps it was the calm and peace he sensed in me as I was engulfed in the recognition and awe of His faithfulness.

Faithful in His Sovereignty and Grace and Redemption. Faithful in providing all that we could ever want or need. Faithful because He Is all we could ever truly want or need. Faithful in His unconditional Love for His children. Faithful in the promise that He will return and wrong will be made right and good will triumph over evil. Faithful as that very day draws nearer every moment. Great is thy Faithfulness.

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:31-39 

Friend, in this world we will have troubles. The everyday battles are real - even hard, ugly, painful and scary. But the ultimate battle has been won and faithful is the One who has overcome the world. And we can cling desperately to that hope when the broken stuff of this world threatens to rob us of our strength, our joy, and our peace. He is faithful, and His promises are true - and oh so good.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And he who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.'" - Revelation 21:4-5a

He is faithful.

"Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."

Come Lord Jesus.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in his wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of his glory and grace.

This morning we had the privilege of hosting the Kansanshi Fellowship in our home. This is a group of expatriate miners and a few others from around the world who started a small church group here in Solwezi because they didn’t feel comfortable or worship in the local Zambian churches as they were used to doing in their home countries. Actually, as August is a school holiday and many of the miners are on vacations or visiting family in South Africa or elsewhere, we’re hosting several weeks in a row.

Anyhow, the topic Luke led us through today was sin as a habit/lifestyle versus sin as an isolated event, looking at how everyone is a sinner from conception – from the disobedience of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and from which the separation of mankind from God resulted, we are in our nature sinners. Through the blood of Christ on the cross, who was born of woman but conceived by the Holy Spirit, believers in Him are reconciled to God and freed from the power of sin. God views us as righteous, despite incidents of sin that occur after we put our trust in Him. While we are viewed as righteous, we still have to account for our sinful choices. Just as children whose parents will love them and forgive them when they do wrong but are proud of them when they do well, we know our Heavenly Father forgives and loves us when we slip, but we seek to do right for the honor it brings Him.

All that to say, that’s not what this post is about, really.... As we discussed the fact that we all still fall to temptation and make mistakes, one of the men said that sometimes he thinks we’re too focused on the sin and not on our righteousness. Before you say, “wow, he’s full of himself” or “missed the point of Christ on the cross,” think about it. He has a very, very good point. We’ve been freed from sin and its power – so why dwell on it? If we dwell on our sin, we tend to live in shame, guilt, and often a terrible cycle of: sinful action – guilt – distancing ourselves from God (how could He love us when we disappoint Him so?) – and sinful action again. It’s like when someone is on a diet and spends the whole time thinking, “I can’t eat candy bars.” If you’re constantly thinking about how you can’t do it, you’re constantly thinking about it.

If instead, we place in our minds something completely different rather than focusing on what we shouldn’t do, there’s no room for those temptations to even creep in. Our friend wasn’t saying we are righteous in that we don’t need a savior, but if we view ourselves in the righteousness we have because of Christ, it is easier to get out of the cycle of shame and focus on Him and His holiness as a guide for our own lives.

So thinking about all of that and how I should fix my eyes on Christ, the above hymn popped into my mind. If our eyes are on Jesus – in His glory and grace and splendor – the temptations of the world seem so frivolous and dull. If we focus on the temptations, and falling to the temptations, we completely miss the goodness and love of Christ. I mean seriously, what right have we to sit ashamed, guilty, and unworthy of God’s pleasure, when Jesus gave His life on the cross and deemed us worthy?

Stay tuned for a follow up to this message.... soon. Didn’t want this one to get too long....

Jesus' Superpower

Ever had someone ask, "if you could have any superpower what would it be?" Well, as much as I want to fly or be able to go invisible go back in time, I think the ultimate superpower would be that of Jesus.

No, I'm not talking about "being God," as cool as that would be. I'm talking about his ability to be fully human and yet completely sinless - and completely able to follow the will of the Father. Seriously, who does that? Our sermon this morning (thank you Isaac!) was about humility, looking at Philippians 2: 1-11 about Jesus humbling himself to death on a cross and how we should humble ourselves and put others first because we have shared in the joy and love of God. Yep. Heard it. Read it. But then he goes on to talk about how Jesus left all the prestige and power he had in Heaven - by choice - to come save our sorry selves from eternity in Hell.

Jesus didn't have to leave Heaven. He could have rebelled against the Father and said, "Nope, they don't deserve it. I'm going to stay on my comfy throne and let 'em suffer." But instead, he came here and suffered the excrutiating* pain of death on the cross, for us. Again, who does that? Seriously. And once he got here and was surrounded by prideful, terrible sinners who were all out for their own good (as we all are), he still didn't sin.

(*sidenote: apparently "excrutiating" is actually "of the cross" - as in - the word came to describe the worst pain ever suffered! )

So here's my theory: Jesus came here from Heaven, which means he was with God (being God of course), in God's presence, which means he got to fully experience how incredible God must truly be and therefore want to do nothing more than live in complete obedience to God's will - even if that meant death on a cross. In other words, God is way bigger, way cooler, and way more worthy of glory, honor and praise than any of us could ever fathom - because that's the only way Jesus could have lived so perfectly in His Father's will.

Which begs the question... how would we live if we had truly experienced God's awesome wonder and been with Him face-to face? Jesus didn't have a superpower (except the whole "being God" thing, but here on Earth, he was just a human like the rest of us) - he just knew God's amazingness. We can only begin to grasp that amazingness... and I don't know about you, but knowing how Jesus experienced God and thus had the will to obey Him, it makes me want to experience and know God more through His Word... and dream of truly being in His presence in His kingdom.

Life's Not Fair

Man is sinful. No matter how often we try to deny it, to prove that we are inherently good, the truth is we're not. We are born sinful. Simple as that.

I was reminded of this today as we played in the "SIMCO vs. the world" volleyball game. Being ultra crazy competitive, I couldn't help but get frustrated when the other team ("the world") wouldn't play by the rules, or when some of my teammates would flub. Of course, it was never my fault. And I just got progressively more and more frustrated.

And then I got convicted. We were there to have fun, and there was no reason for me to be getting angry.

And that's just one example. Every minute feels as though I have a new story I could use as an example of how I am sinful.

As a sinner, I am fully deserving of death. Scripture says that the consequences of our sin is death. And not just death in reference to the end of this life, though that is included. It is an eternal death, an eternal separation from God.

But God, in His grace, has given us an escape from this death.

Grace. What a great word.

When I was growing up, one of the best lessons I ever learned was the meaning of "grace" and "mercy". Two words commonly included together, they really have quite different meanings. "Grace" is getting something that we don't deserve, whereas "mercy" is not getting something that we do deserve. Taken at face value, they almost seem contradictory. When considering the condemnation of sinners to death, both play a beautiful part in providing salvation. Mercy is not receiving the death that we so rightly deserve, while grace is the life that we receive when we deserve death.

I love that way Reliant K puts it in their song "Be My Escape". They say

"The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."

For those who have trusted Christ as their salvation, life's not fair. We don't deserve the eternal life that we've been given. I rightly deserve the death that we've earned. Yet God has given life with Him to all who have trusted His Son. And honestly, sometimes it's hard to accept this grace. It's hard to realize how bad we truly are and to accept that God has freely given us this life. We have earned death, but He has given life.

And sometimes, just sometimes, I'm okay with realizing that life isn't fair. I just pray that it would be not fair for a whole lot more people. And that's why we share God's word with those who haven't heard.

The Church and the Ice Cream Cone

"The bigger a church gets, the more prone it is to becoming a self-licking ice cream cone"

My "Theology of Missions" professor made this comment during class this past week, and the entire class – all twelve of us – laughed pretty heartily before we considered the gravity of what was said. Although it doesn't necessarily summarize my first week of my last semester of Seminary, it does provide a good topic for consideration. I'll start with a little bit of the context in which the comment was made.

Our class discussion for this particular session was on the nature and extent of sin. It's a topic that pretty much all of my professors have addressed at some point, but most of them do it using the theological language of the seminary classroom. This professor insisted that we not use any seminary language, but talk as though we were explaining sin to a ten-year-old. As we continued in the discussion, we began to consider how our perspective on sin will affect those to whom we are ministering. If we have a lax view of sin – portraying sin as a simple error that can be fixed and forgotten – we will never show it for what it really is – a constant rejection of the dominion of the Divine. As sin continues in our lives, it shows those to whom we minister that it is okay to reject God's authority. It's like leading them directly into the ground without them even realizing it. Dr. Bradley used the illustration of performance fighter plane fliers who followed each other so closely in formation that when the leader performed a loop too close to the ground, all the others followed suit and all of the men ended up crashing into the ground. Likewise, a view of sin that is too light will not only lead us into further rebellion, but it will also lead all those who follow us.

And that's when the quote came out. We got onto the topic of how some churches avoid teaching about the truth of sin, preferring instead to emphasize God's love. I'm not going to name any names, but some of the largest churches in the country avoid talking honestly about sin so that the members can feel good about themselves. The message they hear appeals to them, but it doesn't convict them. These churches begin to grow without addressing the real issue at hand. And, as these churches continue to grow, the avoidance of the sin issue is reinforced because the numbers are increasing, and, according to the Western mentality, the more members a church has, the more successful it must be. They truly become a self-licking ice cream cone.

Sin is not always an easy issue to talk about. Most people don't like to hear how bad we are. Yet we must be willing to address this issue if we are going to be honest about God's Truth. Just remember, we will never fully appreciate what God has done for us if we do not rightly understand what God has saved us from. Sin is utterly, absolutely hideous every time it occurs, and we should never sugar coat this truth. But we can add hope to this message as we remember the hope we have in Christ.