Clinging to God

“I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

It’s so easy to rely on everyone and everything but God until you’re in a place and situation where the only thing you can do is cry out to God.

My grandma passed away yesterday. She had been in and out of the hospital for the past three weeks, and from what I understand had just been moved to a nursing home for therapy and care until she was strong enough to go home. She died in her sleep, just before my grandpa arrived to visit her. As my mom said during our brief conversation on the phone, God had a plan in it – and waited until no one in the family was there. Grandpa was home, Dad was home, Mom was in Florida with friends and Jason was home. And me, I’m on the complete other side of the world.

I want to believe that Grandma had put her faith in Jesus before she left this world. I have cried so many tears for her and uttered so many prayers over the past hours, days, weeks, months and even years. Just in the last few weeks there have been people on six different continents praying for her. Six! That’s everywhere but Antarctica! That has to mean something, right? Even hours before she died, mom and a friend fervently prayed that someone in the nursing home would share Christ with her and lead her to the Lord.

“And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:15-16)

I don’t know what God’s answer to those prayers was. I like to think that like the persistent widow, whose requests were answered by the judge because she did not give up in asking, that the Lord heard my prayers and they were answered. I so pray that my prayers were His will, as we know He desires that none shall perish and that if we ask anything according to His will, we know that we have those requests for which we have asked. But here, miles and hours away from family – from my grandpa who is in complete despair after spending his whole life loving and depending on my grandma – from my dad, an only child who now has to make difficult decisions and be the stronghold for the family – from my mom, whose faith is upholding so much and desperately wants to see my grandpa trust the Lord – here, all I can do is Trust in the Lord.

During our ministry with the primary age kids at our church in Illinois, we learned a song with the words of Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”

Over the last 16 hours since I heard the news of my grandma’s death, that song has resonated in my heart. In the numerous responses that have poured in from friends and supporters from the e-mail we sent out, one of our friends had quoted that very verse. Then today I pulled out a book from a dear friend titled, Treasures for Women who Hope, and the bookmark inside had that same verse on the back. I am desperately trying to trust in the Lord right now. I’m trusting Him to draw my grandpa, and the others in my family who do not know Him, close to Him. Trusting that He reveals Himself to them in ways that they cannot deny His goodness and love. Trusting Him in the decision of whether to stay here or to go to be with my family at this time. Trusting Him because my understanding is so limited. Trusting Him because without that, I have nothing.

A few months ago I wrote a blog about my grandmother. Read that here: http://pastorllama.blogspot.com/2010/07/full-circle.html

And We're Off!

It's finally here.

After more than six years of prayer, planning, and preparation, the time for us to go to Zambia has arrived.  We have seen God do amazing things, as the support has been pouring in, and we know that God will continue to do amazing things in and through us.

Thank you to everybody who has partnered with us in this ministry.  We would not be boarding a plane this afternoon if not for you, stepping out in faith.

Thank you to all who have been praying for us, for it is your faithful prayers that have moved mountains, opened doors, and sent us off.

We will miss you all, but we find great comfort in knowing that you are still here, missing us and praying for us, too.  And with today's technology, we may be half a world away, but we are only one email, one facebook comment, or one Skype conversation away.  Please do not hesitate to send us messages.  We will make every effort to respond to them (though it may take some time).

As we go, please pray for safe and seamless travel, both for us and our luggage, that we may arrive in Lusaka on Thursday, December 9.  Please also pray for our first month as we go through orientation before moving to Solwezi to begin language training.

And please pray for our family, that they may find strength and encouragement in the Lord as we go.

Words escape me as I write this morning, so I apologize if this is jumbled.  I just wanted to make sure to post this before we left, and to say "Twasante mwane" ("Thank you") to all of you.  We could not have done this without you.

Powerful Prayers

I've been reading 2 Kings in my daily devotions, and I recently read about Hezekiah, one of the last kings of Judah.  Unlike many of the kings that came before him, and all of the kings of the northern kingdom of Israel, Hezekiah was regarded as a good king.  Actually, he was not just a good king.  Second Kings 18 says that he was righteous as David was righteous.  And, by Bible standards, that is quite the compliment.


As I read through this chapter, I was particularly struck by verses 5 and 6, quoted here from The Message:


Hezekiah put his whole trust in the God of Israel. There was no king quite like him, either before or after. He held fast to God—never loosened his grip—and obeyed to the letter everything God had commanded Moses. And God, for his part, held fast to him through all his adventures.


The New American Standard version says that Hezekiah "clung to the Lord".  He clung to God, never loosening his grip.  His faith guided him, even when the Assyrian army came knocking on his door, threatening to destroy the kingdom.


Perhaps the part of the story that impresses me most comes two chapters later.  In 2 Kings 20, Hezekiah is said to be lying on his death bed.  When Isaiah (yes, the same one after whom the book is named) tells the king that his life is almost over, Hezekiah does what he knows to do... he turns to God in prayer.


When faced with death, he prayed.


And God answered.


Before Isaiah had even left the grounds of the palace, God told him to turn around and tell the king that God would restore him to health and give him another 15 years.


The Bible says that God hears the prayers of those who trust in Him (see, for example, James 5:16).  Prayers are indeed a powerful gift from God.  By speaking with God, battles are won, souls are saved, and lives are changed.  By the power of prayer, the impossible can be accomplished.


As the end of the year quickly approaches, we are praying that God will work in a mighty way.  We have recently plateaued in raising our support, but we are praying that God will bring us to 25% of our monthly pledges.  That would be approximately another 5 individuals pledging to give $50 per month each.  We believe that, though this amount may seem big to us, it is not outside of God's ability (really, He could raise it all!).

Will you join us in this?  Will you pray with us that this goal may be reached, and even surpassed, by the beginning of the new year?  We hope you will!

it's really real

In just four days Luke and I will pack up the car and drive to Charlotte for three weeks of missions training with SIM. We'll get our official placement, figure out the finances and logistics, and prepare our materials to start our RDM (resource development ministry - i.e. support raising).

Oh my goodness - it's really happening. The past four years have pointed this direction, and now it's no longer a distant horizon but the next exit! So exciting, yet so unbelievable. And right now - so overwhelming. Just 3 1/2 months ago we were returning to Dallas from our trip to Zambia, and within two days I lost my job and our world was kind of turned upside down. Two months later, we had a loaded moving truck, a lot of sad good-byes with friends and our brothers and sisters at church, and a new apartment in Peoria. Our summer has consisted of lifeguarding, lifeguarding, lifeguarding and sleep when possible (plus a few shifts on the beverage cart for me). Not to mention, I just spent a week in Dallas for Kappa Phi followed by two days in Chicago for a wedding. And now, in just a few days, we're once again driving across the country for a new adventure.

Please pray for us in this time. Pray for clear direction and vision. Pray for good health and energy. Pray that we will not rush through the process but truly do what we need to do to prepare for long-term service. Pray for safe travels. Pray that we remember to breathe. :)

May the Lord bless you and keep you.