reAL-ationship

I could have a million titles for this blog, because as I rode my bike around the lake this beautiful Sunday afternoon, my thoughts were going in a million directions... but to start...

When Luke and I went to North Carolina for SIMStart, a weekend where you get to know more about SIM and meet missionaries who have served all over the world, I realized that much of my focus for missions had been misplaced. Rather than focusing on God's Greatest Glory and the joy of building relationships with His people so they in turn build relationships with Him, I looked at it as a task to accomplish - one more thing to add to a list of accolades - one more way to prove myself to other people, particularly those doubting that we could do it. Therefore, I was also looking at the preparatory stages as simple steps to get through in order to reach the ultimate goal, or "accomplishment." Without going to much into it all, I left realizing that I want nothing more than to serve God and love His people - but wait on His perfect timing. There's no need to rush into the field and miss what He has for us here... In fact, I don't have to be afraid that He will get mad at us if it takes a little longer to get there - because He's the one who will get us there!

So as far as looking at our lives here as steps in the process rather than opportunities to serve God in our daily lives, it even extended to our church. I had looked at it as "training for the field" and ignored the potential for powerful relationships here in the present. Now I am slowly learning how to be more intentional about my relationships, rather than just focusing on the tasks at hand.

Whew, okay that was a big introduction, but what does being "intentional about relationship" look like? Well, take this afternoon for example. I headed out on my bike, and anyone who knows me well, knows that when I get going exercising, that is when I'm least likely to be relational. I typically just want to be fast. First step at being relational (which I wish every cyclist would do), was the simple acknowledgement of others on the road or trail. i.e. the simple phrase "on your left" as I passed other riders. Don't know how many times I've about had a heart attack because someone sneaks up behind me and sprints past with hardly a grunt. That one's easy though - three words - and you're gone. Doesn't interrupt the ride, and makes it a tad safer. Stopping my bike to talk to someone? That takes a little more convincing. But, I also find it to be true that there are people that we greet cordially with a "hello, how are you," and there are people we love to talk to because they "get us" or we "get them."

So, it was time for some "Free Advice" from my good buddy Roderick, because, well, he "gets me." (Read the blog from two weeks ago to learn more about Roderick). I originally thought I'd wait till my second loop around the lake, so as not to cut into my ride, but afraid he'd leave his post early to watch the Super Bowl or avoid sundown, I pulled off in my first loop as I rounded the corner and saw the sign. Not intending for much beyond a simple "hello" and "thank you" for his encouragement and generosity so I could get on with the ride, we instead instantly jumped into a conversation like friends who had known each other for years. And then I figured out why I felt I needed to stop today. As I explained that Luke was at work, Roderick looked at me and said, "He really respects and admires your abilities and discernment with people." "WHAT?" Well, remembering that Roderick is also a very "discerning person" I didn't doubt his intuition, but he went on to explain with a story of an elderly couple he knew where the man didn't express his emotions much, but his wife was very strong and he remembers telling the wife that her husband truly respected and loved her dearly - and the wife said that confirmed what she had always thought but never really believed.

Why was that so important to me? Another thing I realized/revisited at SIMStart was my inability to fully trust people - to trust that they truly love me as me and value who I am over what I do. I am scared to death that when I let people in all the way, they'll see the real me and run away kicking and screaming. Even Luke, he has 99.5% of me, but I have to keep just a little bit, because if he doesn't like me, I can say it's because he doesn't have all of me. But, if I give 100% and he doesn't truly love me, that means it's really me. But Roderick, he could see Luke's heart as Luke nodded along with Roderick's observations two weeks ago. Roderick doesn't process with words - but he sees inside people. Myself being a woman of words, I had to hear the words from Roderick of what he saw inside my husband - that Luke loves me for me - wholly and completely.

Wow. REAL-ationships. That was so worth stopping. As we parted ways and I finished my ride, I rode into our apartment complex only to find a group of kids around a bike turned upside down, and as I rode by on my "big bike" one of them asked me if I could fix his bike. I thought there was no way and just told him I wouldn't know how. But then again, what is usually wrong with a kid's broken bike? Usually just a chain off the wheel, so I circled back around, and yep - the chain had come off. So I slipped off my seat, laughed when they said my hands would get dirty, and spent a few minutes working that stubborn chain back onto the wheel, assuring them they would get to ride a "big bike" someday too, and that they should see my husband's "really big bike." REAL-ationships. A few minutes of a fairly easy task, and I became a hero (heroin?).

So maybe we should all give a few more minutes, a little more often. I know I was blessed a lot more than my friend Roderick by our chat, despite his smile and gratitude for our visit. Helping those kids definitely touched me much more deeply than it touched them. God has a purpose for you today, not just a year or two down the road -- and guess what? If you listen for it, and follow it, you'll likely be the one who is blessed.

After all, didn't God say, "It is not good for the man to be alone...? " (Gen. 2:18)