Where has the time gone?

God is indeed good.  And He provides for His own.  Sometimes it's hard to believe all this.

But lately, it's been really easy.

With all that has gone on in our lives in the past two months (basically since our trip to Zambia), we cannot possibly deny the goodness of God, nor could we deny His provision.  Doors have flown open for us in Peoria, and now we are just days away from traveling half way across the country to a new (old) hometown.  But more than that, God has provided discounts on our rent here in Dallas, a new computer for Luke (woohoo!) and provision in more ways than we can imagine.  We have seen His love expressed in very real, very tangible ways, through people we have come to know during our time in Dallas.  Some of these people we have come to know quite well, and others we only barely know, but so many have stepped up and shared with us a love that can only come from the Lord.

I realize that this isn't necessarily the most interesting post, but it's been over a month since our last post, and so much has happened.  Too much to even mention.  And all of it has come from the Lord, who blesses those who pursue Him.  Now, I'm not saying that everything has been nice and easy.  It's been stressful, and it is incredibly hard to be leaving all those here in Dallas who we have come to love.  But we know that God is guiding us in these next steps, and everything we do are growing us and preparing us for what He has planned.

It's just....weird.  I feel like we just got back from Zambia, and that Tiffany just lost her job, and that we were just beginning to talk about moving to St. Louis in June.  And now here we are in May, preparing to Move to Peoria in just a few days.  So much has gone on.  So much has changed.  I don't even know what's going on anymore, and all I can do is trust in Him.  Trust that His plans are good and perfect.  Trust that He will always be there.  Trust that He will continue to guide us.  Trust that, even when the times are hard, He is blessing us.

After all, God is good.  Really, really good.

Bright and Beautiful, Great and Small

How amazing is our God? Let me share just a portion of a journal entry I wrote the day we went to Victoria Falls. Though this was the "debriefing" at the end of our trip to Zambia and not a portion of the actual ministry experience, this display of God's majesty just really sums up so much of the entire trip.


"Our God is so good, so strong, so powerful. To see the mighty waters pouring over what would have been an amazing ravine that in itself would have been an awesome show of God's glory even without the billions of gallons of water... the 'mist' poured over the area like a perpetual monsoon -- creating small waterfalls in every crevice -- some going sideways and some even upwards because of the awesome force. And only in Africa could we see so much without 'safety barriers' and rails and mobs of tourists and commercialization. There were times when a single misplaced step could send you barrelling down into a gorge of swirling masses of water -- but so much of that was the very thrill of being there.....


... a semi-path led straight down to the 'boiling pot' -- down the gorge. When the path ended, there was nothing preventing further passage, so we waded through pools of water and climbed up and down over sharp rocks to get to the very bottom -- where the currents swirled in a tornado-like fashion from the immense power of the falls. At the very top of the waterfall, you could stand on rocks just feet from the edge -- almost unfathomable considering the immense height of the falls. Wow. Wow. Wow."


Now as many of you know, we lost our camera on the trip, and are just starting to get pictures from team members. Take a look at the picture below for the most awesome display of God's power (though this hardly does a justice to the real thing)...

but notice something else... As Dick snapped this picture, a tiny butterfly flew just feet from the camera -- landing smack dab at the top of this photo. The same God that sends billions of water barrelling over a giant gorge created this tiny yellow butterfly -- perfectly woven, completely delicate and graceful -- unthreatened by the powerful force behind it -- protected by its Creator.

"How great is God -- beyond our understanding! The number of his years is past finding out. He draws up the drops of water, which distill as rain to the streams; the clouds pour down their moisture and abundant showers fall on mankind. Who can understand how he spreads out the clouds, how he thunders from his pavillion?" Job 26:26-29

All things bright and beautiful -- all creatures great and small. Our God is mighty and no problem or hurdle is too big for him... but He is also gentle and full of grace -- and will comfort the inner places of our hearts. Such a comfort after all the need and injustice we saw, but all of the glorious ways God was at work among His people. Such a comfort coming back on such a high, yet losing my job, dealing with a flooded apartment and not really sure what His plan is for us right now as we look to go back to Zambia long term.

He is mighty. But those huge, powerful arms are also there to protect us, comfort us, and remind us of the beauty in the small things. Like the butterfly.

Trip Reports Coming, but until then...

We would like to apologize for being back in the States for more than a week and not making any effort to really talk about our trip on here. In our defense, this inactivity on our part is largely due to a couple of factors:

1) We left our camera in Livingstone and therefore have no pictures at the moment. We figure that talking about our trip needs to be accompanied by pictures, so we're waiting until we get pictures from our teammates.

2) Our lives have gone crazy in the week we've been back. Tiffany is back on the job market, Luke is buried in papers to grade, and now we're looking at moving, possibly as early as June. So much going on...


On a completely unrelated note, we realized that there is increased readership of our blog now and many people have been asking about the origin of the name. To hold y'all over until we get our acts together and start writing about our time in Zambia, go here to read the first post on our blog. It explains the name.

Numb

Numbness. This is what I've been feeling since we got back on Sunday, but could never really describe it because I was... well... numb.

But today I started to feel a slight twinge of feeling in my life, and I'm not sure I liked it much. I began to wake up to a world of gray - robbed of joy. I went out on my bike, but felt completely disconnected, but as I went I realized that things really are colorless here. Where are the individuals riding their bikes miles to the market with two live goats strapped to the back? Where are the colorful yet dirty chitinges (spelling?) securing young babies to a mother's back while she balances a basket of greens on her head? Where are the honking vehicles letting you know they're coming up behind you as you walk along the road (on the left side, by the way) and meandering around various potholes and large speed bumps? Where are the stands with fresh tomatoes and cabbage - that in the coming days will be selling papaya and pumpkin leaves with the changing season? Where is the red dirt that inevitably attaches to your shoes, feet everything, yet no one seems to notice because everyone is walking in it?

And what about the people? Where are the welcoming vernacular calls for "white girl" as I run in the morning? Where are the people who reach up to the bus window hoping you'll buy a few ground nuts (peanuts) off of them so they can take something home to their familes for dinner? Where are the orphans who welcomed us with joyful songs proclaiming God's goodness, despite their very sense of rejection and lack of certainty that they will have a meal tomorrow? Where are the eyes that light up as you hand them a small bowl of porridge and joyful giggles as they receive their first toy - a bug made out of an egg carton and pipe cleaners? Where are the children who run down the hill and jump into your arms for a hug before they even meet you - just because they know you're there to see them? Where are the fresh guava trees and mosquito nets?

Where is the tireless grandma who walks up to five miles a day to take a word of encouragement to a woman dying of AIDS, whose children have been taken from her, whose home has collapsed, and who now lays on a mat outside her sister's hut with no energy to eat - not that she has any food to eat anyway...

Where are the people? Here - they're sitting in offices staring at computers looking for ways to make more money while avoiding the necessity of forming more relationships. After all, it's hard to fire people or take advantage of them if you have no relationship with them.

Numb. That's how I've been feeling. Or I guess, not feeling. That is why I was able to keep a straight face when I was told I no longer had a job on Wednesday - I was numb. That is why I haven't been able to really put in words what we saw and experienced in Zambia - I've been numb.

But now I'm gaining feeling. And that feeling tells me I want to go back to where there is color. Where people have joy. Where children sing praises simply because they know God is good. Where people would rather stop and chat then get to a meeting or something else. Where red dirt is a comforting site and much more appealing than gray concrete. Back to Zambia. Where I left a big piece of my heart.

Pray With Us

Okay, time to freak out. In less than 40 hours, our flight will depart from DFW (on to D.C. to Johannesburg to Lusaka, arriving in Lusaka at 9 p.m. their time Saturday night - 1 p.m. Central time). I'm going to Africa! and soon! It's happening!! EEEEK!

Breathing... breathing...

and in the meantime, I need to get some sleep and relax a bit, but thought I'd share a few prayer requests as we prepare for the journey:

• Travel: Luke hates to fly, and anyone who knows me knows I can't sit still for long, much less a 15-plus hour flight... Additionally, in country we will be taking an 8-hour bus ride one day and several flights on small planes. Please pray for safety and sanity through it all.
• Packing: We're transporting a lot of gifts for missionaries, orphans and nationals - please pray that it all fits and that we stay within all weight and size requirements. One pound overweight could cost another $250!
• Customs: Apparently they're really cracking down over there - even Benadryl could get confiscated - it's considered a narcotic. Please pray that we all get through, with all our stuff, without any problems.
• Health: Pray that the anti-malarial meds do their job and no other issues arise.
• Relationships: Please pray that our team of eight will form and maintain strong relationships and will be able to be honest with each other and lift each other up. Especially for Luke and I - this is the most consecutive time we will have been able to spend together since we got married! Also, pray that we may be a blessing to those whom we serve and those with whom we will serve. The missionaries in Zambia have done a lot of work preparing for our visit, and we definitely want them to feel as though it was all worth it!
• General Direction and Grace: Please pray that the Lord will be glorified by this trip, that He will work both in and through us, and that He will open our eyes to where and how He would potentially have us serve long-term in Zambia (or if He has other plans altogether). Please pray that our focus will be first and foremost on the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and that we will be "blessed to be a blessing."

We won't likely be able to communicate again until we return - so have a great few weeks and be looking forward to great stories, beautiful pictures (we end the trip at Victoria Falls), and testimonies of the Lord's goodness.

May He keep you and Bless You.