Sometimes it's just hard....

It's weird, but it seems that the most common conversation that I've been having lately has been about how difficult it is to follow God's calling. I have come to particularly enjoy the poster that shows the face of Jesus and has written across the bottom the words

"I never said it would be easy."

I can think of that poster every time that life seems tough, but I don't know that I ever really let it sink in.

Now don't get me wrong, life for me right now is not falling apart. I have a job. Actually, I have three(ish). I have a beautiful wife, parents that love me, and am not lacking in friends who care about me. By all appearances my life is good. Yet I find myself struggling to get through each day. I am exhausted. I can't seem to bring myself to get into the Word, or even to pray. It seems that the harder that life gets, the more difficult it is to turn to the very source of life, love, and energy that we have. The downward spiral continues, and all of a sudden you realize that you haven't done a quiet time in a month, opened your journal since before Christmas, or even posted a blog entry since February. You've been preoccupied, and life has passed you by.

I was talking with my friend the other day. We'll call her L.W. (Not that her anonymity needs to be kept, but because I didn't tell her I would write about her). She is passionate about heading overseas as a missionary, and she is basically in her last month of seminary. It seems as though she is so close to getting there. But all of a sudden the brakes seem to have been slammed. She has no job (the one she had was seasonal), her parents can no longer afford to help her financially, and debt is rapidly accruing. She's having to pay for school (the very school that she is attending to enter the ministry) with a credit card, and she has no clue how her rent or bills will be paid. In our conversation she said

"I really want to follow God's call for my life, but sometimes He makes it so hard."

It's as though He makes it too hard to follow Him. We may be willing, but sometimes it's as though He is trying to make us unwilling.

But that's just it. Sometimes following Him is hard. But then again, He's worth going through the hard times for. We are told in James 1 that perseverance in these trials produces endurance. These trials come from God as He prepares us for service. Entering the mission field will not be easy. Going to a completely foreign place, thousands of miles from family and friends, unable to communicate with the locals, incapable of stomaching the food that is served, and constantly facing some sort of opposition will not be easy. But if that is your calling, it is worth suffering through the hard times. It's not that He is trying to make us unwilling. I'd say that it's His way of proving to us that He is worth serving. Through it all, God ultimately seeks that His name be glorified.

Just look through the Psalms. There were times where the Psalmist was greatly suffering, even angry at God. Yet even the Psalms of lament end with resounding praise because God - the God that we have the opportunity to serve - is faithful. So we praise God, even when it's hard.

And sometimes it's hard.

Remember when?

So, remember when we were younger and turned papers in to teachers in hard copy? Like we would print off (or, even better, handwrite) our papers and deliver them to the teachers in person. Well, that just doesn't work anymore. We need to save the trees. It just takes too much paper to print off all these reports and turn them in that way. No, now we turn them in online. Two of my professors have special programs where course materials are distributed and turned in on a website while some of my other professors have asked that we turn in papers via email. So, I'm learning to trust that when I send an email containing my highly developed and researched thesis, the professor gets it "on time." Which brings up another issue. From my experience in receiving emails, sometimes there is a delay between when it is sent and when they arrive. I know, it shouldn't happen, but it does. Since professors who desire the work to be turned in electronically determine whether or not an assignment is late based on the time stamp in the received memo, if there is any delay papers that were legitimately completed and submitted on time can be marked as late. But, that's another issue.

So, why am I writing about this? Well, for one I'm bored after completing and turning in a paper this way. For another, I am sitting on the third floor of the library. A library that is full of books, all of which contain paper - often quite a bit of it. Many of these books are actually papers turned in by former students. Turned in as a hard copy, mind you. Not electronically.

Not that any of this is important. We are in a new age (not the New Age, that cult that I wrote a paper about last semester and turned in - in hard copy), and things are good. We are blessed to have the technology that we have, and we are doing good for the environment by killing less trees. Too bad the exhaust from the car that I drive will be killing enough other things to make up for it...

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Now playing: Various Artists - Take A Chance On Me
via FoxyTunes

Seasons? Anyone? Seasons?

Dallas lacks this thing called "seasons". Well, not entirely. We really have a good grasp on summer. And there is a little bit of spring (that's when it's only in the 60s or 70s). The seasons we really lack are fall and winter. "Fall" is basically the sudden 40 degree drop that we experience at night, usually indicating that the next day will be warmer than the one before (go figure). "Winter" is if that 40 degree drop brings a colder day the next day. Sometimes white pellets fall from the sky. These crazy southerners call this stuff "snow," freak out, and close down the city. No joke. It happened during the crazy "Winter Blast '07" where it was a chilling 30 degrees during about 2 days with ice (yes ice) on some of the roads. All schools closed, most businesses closed, and regular television programming was pushed to the side so that the weathermen could broadcast all day. It's a good thing they warned us...I mean, we almost froze. And those roads, way too dangerous to consider driving. It was much better for us to crawl into our little holes, crank the heat up, and pray that it wasn't the beginning of the apocalypse.

But that was last year. This year cold is a completely foreign concept. "Cold" happens overnight and burns away with the sun. Or, "cold" could also refer to that illness that everybody has because the temperature fluctuates so drastically overnight. Currently it is February 9th and 70 degrees outside. That's right. 70. I have been walking around outside in shorts and a t-shirt in February - and sweating. This, I would argue, is more likely a sign of the end times than the "Winter Blast" of last year. But, then, I like seasons.

Maybe this is God's way of preparing me for Africa...

A Jobless Blessing

I am tired. That's a given. If you see me around and ask me how I am doing, 9 times out of 10 I'll respond with "I'm sooooo tired" (the length of "so" varies--that's how to determine how bad it is). Long days at school followed by long nights at work really begin to wear on the body, especially when the "days off" that get scheduled are spent fulfilling church duties. Many people ask me when I see my wife, to which I have a number of responses.

1) I saw her on Tuesday. That's date night. We see each other every Tuesday. (Usually it's a home-cooked meal - like frozen pizza - and a movie, but this past Tuesday was chicken Parmesan and a walk through Northpark Mall)

2) After I get home from work I see her sleeping. And then when I wake up and go to school I again see her sleeping. I see her. She doesn't necessarily know that I see her, but I do. This is usually my more cynical response.

3) Never. Sometimes honesty is all I have the energy for.

Lately, however, I have another answer that I can give. I see Tiffany on campus or on the days that I don't have class when I stay at home. I guess that's what happens when the bread-winner of the family is temporarily jobless.

Yes, she's the bread-winner. Full-time student status and a less-than-exciting job at Starbucks only creates more bills. It doesn't pay them. So we've relied on Tiffany's many talents to keep us afloat. (As a side note, we truly rely on God, for we know that every blessing comes from Him. These blessings include the multiplicity of talents that He has given Tiffany as well as the way she has profited from her use of said talents.)

Yes, she is temporarily jobless. It happens. Massive layoffs happen. They just do. And sometimes they happen to the people we love. So, Tiff is jobless. But she's also extremely talented (see above) and assertive. She will find a job. There's no doubt in our minds. So, she is temporarily jobless.

That said, I have gotten to see my wife at random times and enjoy things that we have never before been able to share. It wasn't until she lost her job that she was able to attend a class with me (Soteriology with Dr. Holsteen - good times), and today she came down to campus and went to her first chapel. Last week we had lunch together in the cafeteria (really romantic), and when I had a class canceled due to illness (ironically Soteriology with Dr. Holsteen) I went home for the day to find Tiffany not doing a whole lot. Though I was worthless, I got to see her.

All this to say, sometimes unfortunate times can also be blessings. It is not fun when she doesn't have a job. It wasn't the last time, and it's not this time. But God has proven faithful before, and we have more faith than ever that He will do something amazing here too. But I get to see my wife when I otherwise would never really see her anymore. To through the unfortunate circumstances we have found great blessing. And we praise God - even in this storm.

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Now playing: Casting Crowns - Praise You In This Storm
via FoxyTunes

Mission:Ghana?

Okay, so in the last post I mentioned that we are not going to Mozambique anymore. That was a shock to the system, as we had spent the last 7 months planning for that trip. We had become comfortable with our plans and didn't bother looking for other possible trips. Then the news came and we were all "HUH?!" and then Tiffany was all "we should find another trip to go on," which, in Tiffany terms, means "Luke, you should find another trip for us to go on, and then show me what you find and I'll say yes or no as I look for trips myself." Then, just a few days ago Tiffany was talking to Dr. Fanka at church and he mentioned that he and another gentleman were planning a trip to Ghana sometime this fall to work with leadership training and church planting. Though I'll be into my semester by that point, I will only be taking two BE classes, and we'll only be gone for a couple of weeks, so it looks like we may be going to Ghana in September/October with a little side trip over to Togo for a couple of days for a mini-seminar. From Togo, Dr. Fanka will head down to Cameroon to attend to some family business while Tiffany and I return to Ghana and possibly spend a few days casting vision for potential future ministry. We're still working out the details, but we spent some timing picking dates for the trip this morning, so we're pretty excited. We'll keep y'all posted. And by "y'all" I really mean Tiffany, as she's the only one that ever reads this...